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Is it normal for 5/6 yo girls to be this dramatic and weepy?

(37 Posts)
SquongebobSparepants Sun 25-Sep-11 20:58:28

H and I need reassurance that it's normal for DD1 to cry about every. little. thing. all. bloody. day.
This afternoon we had tears because
- dd2 touched her balloon (even though they were playing catch)
- The toys in the garden might blow away (it's not windy, or raining, and nothing has ever blown away from the garden) this went on for about an hour, and she refused to come in for tea until they were all cleared away
- she might have left something in a restaurant we went to last week. Even though we have discussed this before and she knows she didn't.
- Because she couldn't have another muffin, even though there were only 4 and no-one else was havign another one
- because we sat on dd2's bed to read the bedtime story (they take it in turns)
She isn't crying ALL the time, but it doesn't half feel like it.

She has also started waking 2 or 3 times a night with 'bad dreams' which is exhausting us.

She has just started year 1, is veyr bright, I have started a new job that means I am not here for drop off or pick up but DH normally is, or she has a childminder who she loves. but the tears and drama have been going on all summer when I was home all day.

We are trying to ignore and send her to sit somewhere quiet until she calms down, after we tried to reason with her and found it made her worse.

Any advice/sympathy/reassuracne would be awesome.
tia

Ineedacleaneriamalazyslattern Sun 25-Sep-11 21:03:54

I only read the tittle and my first thought was Oh god yes.
DD is 8 this week and 5/6 was honestly hell on earth with the dramatics and weeping.
I am lucky in that my friend has a dd that is a year older than my own dd and sometimes we hit these phases and I see her doing things friends dd did and realise we have just hit that age.

But yes unfortunately from my own experience it seems to be quite normal. I remember talking to one of the other mums at the school and her dd is 3 days older and we had the lot. The weeping the restless nights etc.
All I can say is that I tried to be patient and not belittle her upset as for her obviously at the time it must have seemed very real.
You have my sympathy and it disappears as suddenly as it comes and then there are a whole load more hahahahaha wonderful phases to go through.

SquongebobSparepants Sun 25-Sep-11 21:22:50

Oh god thanks, I have read your whole post but am fixated on
'it disappears as suddenly as it comes '
and will live in hope. It's just exhausting.

it doesn't help that DD2 is completely disparaging as only a 4 yo can be
'oh is DD1 having a tantrum again <big sigh>'
which is less than helpful grin

I am missing all the school gate chat due to this new job so have no-one to talk to apart from my neighbour, and of course DD1 is perfectly behaved for everyone else.
she threw a wobbly at the childminders when she lost a 'shoe putting on race' with DD2 and the childminder was shock as she ahd never seen her like this, so lucky us, it's only when she is with us <sigh>

<<has 'this too shall pass' tattooed inside eyelids>>

Ineedacleaneriamalazyslattern Mon 26-Sep-11 11:33:37

Ah yes the perfectly behaved thing for everyone else is frustrating. I always try to tell myself I must have done something right as she knows how to behave she just doesn't do it at home. grin

My closest friend was shocked when she heard dd kicking off the first time as dd was actually a really good wee girl and is usually pretty laid back so this was a particular shock to the system then one day she was back to the sweet little girl she once was... now turning 8 the demon appears to be back I'm hoping this phase passes soon too as now she is a little older the tantrums are a bit less but the answering back is getting smarter hahaha.

AeolineReed Mon 26-Sep-11 11:37:06

I have certainly come across dramatic and weepy ones in my DD's class, and I remember them being in my own class at school. I think they all just grew out of it (though the ones in DD's class have not done so yet!)

onepieceofcremeegg Mon 26-Sep-11 11:38:01

7 year old here (with another "helpful" 4 year old dd who enjoys commentating!)

In our house I think it is a combination of tiredness, getting back into the swing of a new school year, realising that 6/7 weeks or relative freedom has come to an end. Don't forget that to a young child 6 weeks seems endless. grin

It's a bit of a grind for them going back for the first term I think, uniform every day, getting dressed by a certain time, perhaps more rigidly enforced bedtimes etc. Less treats overall. And the evenings drawing in and getting darker, less evenings out in the garden/park.

Also ime they are often fighting off mild colds/bugs and feel a bit under the weather which leads to tearfulness/feeling sorry to self etc.

I give both of mine a probiotic vitamin, no idea if it helps them but it helps me psychologically thinking that it boosts their generally good diet anyway. smile

onepieceofcremeegg Mon 26-Sep-11 11:39:11

p.s. things I find helpful:

Shut yourself in the kitchen and roll your eyes in private, mutter ffs many times under your breath.

Pour large tea/coffee/wine as necessary.

SquongebobSparepants Mon 26-Sep-11 19:56:21

grin thanks. this is all very reassuring!

girliefriend Mon 26-Sep-11 20:02:39

Yes normal although when my dd (age 5yo) is worse than usual it normally signals;

coming down with a bug

growth spurt

some sort of developmental leap

some underlying anxiety about something random

having fallen out with a friend at school

grin

am sure she will settle down soon. Have a cup of brew

SquongebobSparepants Wed 28-Sep-11 18:50:41

Thanks.
She just had a major meltdown in tesco trying to spend ehr pocket money as 'everything is too nice and I can't decide'
When I told her to decide or we were leaving she screamed so loudly staff came to check what the matter was.blush (they were very nice and when they asked if they could do anything reacted well to my request for earplugs and gingrin)

I chose for her and put it in the trolley but told her she couldn't have it (her sister had managed to choose without screeching) and she proceeded to cry all the way round.
At full volume.

bear in mind please that my DD1 is very big. She may be only 5.5 but she has the appearance of an 8 year old (very tall) and was sitting in a trolley seat wailing.
Excellent.

She still insists we have left soemthing behind everytime we leave ANYWHERE (I have NEVER left anything behind) and every morning I have to prise her off me, run out of the house, and then all I can see as I pull away is this little sad face in the window crying and saying 'come back'

Its EXHAUSTING.

cjbartlett Wed 28-Sep-11 18:56:23

She does seem to be a little over what I'd consider the normal steoppy 5/6 girl tbh
Have you other concerns about her?

girliefriend Wed 28-Sep-11 20:12:12

I don't know, when I collected my dd from childminders after work yesterday she had a melt down as one of the kids had sat on her (accidently) I had to pop into the shop to get milk and said she could choose a small treat, she immediately picked up a big bag of sweets and I said no, cue hysterics! She eventually picked some sweets and I told her unless she calmed down and start behaving she would not be eating them so she screamed the whole way home and lay sobbing on her bed for about half an hour!!!

I have to say I did congratulate myself on remaining very calm and not rising to any of it!!! Eventually she did calm down and redeemed herself enough to get a few sweets she had to earn the rest by behaving herself to day!!!

ninjanurse Wed 28-Sep-11 20:22:08

My DD is 7 and is just coming out of this stage. She used to have huge melodramatics about food - THERE IS VEGETABLES IN MY DINNER - YOU KNOW I DONT LIKE VEGETABLES!! cue hysterical sobs. She still has these tantrums bt they are few and far between now.

SquongebobSparepants Wed 28-Sep-11 20:26:05

She is very tired, she wakes at 6 and can't get back to sleep. I don't have any real concerns, she was fine then once we got home and playing nicely with her sister, chatting and joking. It's just me leaving she doesn't like, DH can bugger off as far as she cares.

I think it comes from me being a SAHM since she was born, then I was a student but nearly always able to drop her off or pick her up, now I am out half 7 to half 4 at the very least.

This was the worst meltdown I ahve ever seen to be honest.

also, she ahs been skipped on to the next stage of reading again, to level 6 ORT, and she has extra maths books to keep her busy at school as she is ahead of the others I am wondering if she is exhausted from the extra work.

Girlefriend, that sounds about right! They work themselve sinto such a bloody state and then can't seem to get out of it. She did calm down when I did deep breathing with her so she can, but forgets how!

SquongebobSparepants Wed 28-Sep-11 20:28:18

oh yes 'THIS CHEESE IS MELTED, I DONT LIKE MELTED CHEESE, WHY DID YOU PUT IT NEAR MY PASTA'

<sigh>

am hoping it's because she is super bright and so will earn lots of money when she is older to keep me in the wine that I will have become accustomed to with her behaviour.

ginmakesitallok Wed 28-Sep-11 20:31:11

ewwwwwwwwwwwwww THERE'S GRAVY ON MY SWEETCORN!!!!!!!!

I feel your pain.

A clever, friendly, well behaved 7 year old you turns into a screaming banshee the second she steps into the house

RedHotPokers Wed 28-Sep-11 20:36:16

My DD is like this after school (5yo in y1).

Tonight she cried because:

1. DS (2.5y) touched her toast.
2. She didn't like her toothpaste.
3. She wanted to play with DS's toy camera (designed for 6month olds).
4. DS forgot to kiss her good night.
5. Her clock had 'gone funny'.

RedHotPokers Wed 28-Sep-11 20:36:54

Oh yeah, and because her friends apparently told her that her tongue looked a funny colour. hmm

hellsbells76 Wed 28-Sep-11 20:40:10

No advice but just wanted to register my relief that it isn't just us...

jonasmcflonas Wed 28-Sep-11 20:48:22

Yes we have another one here too!

Drama and tears over any little thing that doesn't go her way. I have noticed it more since she went back to school and agree that tiredness and having to be back in a routine are the major causes. Lots of other mums of girls in her class have commented theirs are the same...but not the boys' mums!

Bumply Wed 28-Sep-11 20:52:10

Sigh. My ds is 9 and still has his drama queen moments.

SquongebobSparepants Wed 28-Sep-11 21:04:26

<<relief>>!

Spero Wed 28-Sep-11 21:13:48

Mine was like this for six months just after she was 6. Interestingly she is also very tall for her age, wonder if this is a factor?

I was so worried about her - irrational hysterics over minor things - I made an appointment with a child psychologist. But after six months or so, she seems to have stopped entirely. I don't know if it is an age thing or that she was anxious aboutlife in general - we had moved house and she changed school etc.

But she seems fine now.

BettyTurnip Wed 28-Sep-11 21:30:08

Nodding along in empathy here...we have a (tall!) 5 year old dd who seems to burst into ear splitting wails at the drop of a hat too; this morning she had major tears because her younger sister dared to pass her her toothbrush when she wanted MUMMY TO DO IT!!!!!!!! The noise and general hysteria then set the younger one off so they both ended up bawling...over a bloody toothbrush, ffs!

DH and I are exhausted with it too, it's got to the point where we hear the "Bwwaaaaaaaaaaaaa" start and our first reaction is a weary "Christ, what the **'s happened now?" muttered under our breath.

It will pass; we also have an older dd who has come through that stage, thank God!

quirkychick Wed 28-Sep-11 22:07:36

We have a resident drama queen. Age 5 3/4 and very tall/articulate for her age too. I think Year 1 has been a bit of a shock, more work, back to school routine etc. Dd1 is also absolutely angelic at school. Just not at home.

We have been a bit better this week. But we regularly get "I spilt water on my pyjamas", "You've given me potatoes" etc. She has had drama queen tendencies for quite a while, though.

So, yeah completely normal.

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