And I thought the newborn stage was hard. . . . .(13 Posts)
I found DD quite intense as a Newborn as she was 6 weeks prem and pretty much spent the first 16 weeks attached to my breast and only slept about 6 hours in 24 despite co-sleeping/sling etc. However when she was about 18 weeks old she really changed and she was an absolute delight, her feeds spaced out, she enjoyed interacting and she even started sleeping a good few hours at night .
She is nearly 9 months old now and boy am I struggling, for about a month now all she seems to do is whinge and cry regardless of what I do, all of the things she previously liked including going out for walks now cause her great distress. I honestly seem to spend my entire life trying to keep her happy and to top it off her sleep has gone to pot so I am also spending the nights doing the same. I know she is struggling with teeth at the mo as she has had 4 pop through in the last week and 2 more pushing through and she has had a cold but oh my goodness please tell me this will soon pass, I would love my happy smiley baby back please!
I've been there - and it does pass (or you get used to it, I'm not sure which).
Although the newborn weeks were intense, and I was knackered, I didn't really struggle with them. My husband and mum were around a lot, and I wasn't expected to do anything but keep these two brand new scraps of life alive. As they've got older, I think they need more effort and attention, not less, and i'm not expected to need the heavy-duty support I had in the early days so I am on my own a lot more.
Personally, I found 8-9 months the absolute hardest (so far!). My twins are 11 months now, and although still exhausting, I can carry on because I go back to work in a month! That sounds really harsh, although I love these two wrigglers so so much, I will be able to care for them much more effectively if I have a few days away from th each week, knowing that grandma/nursery is also a good experience for them.
As with everything, this phase will pass. Your baby will change, you will change, the weather will change. You'll make a new friend, find a new group, get more/different help. Just keep going, try to remain sane and care for your baby, and remember that nothing ever stays the same for very long
Thanks for the reply HappyAsaSandboy, my sister is coming to stay for a few days so at least she can help entertain DD for a while
Check out this website: www.thewonderweeks.com/
8-10 months is massively frustrating for them and they express that by grumping the whole time. They want to move about and can't, they want to eat properly and can't, they want to communicate and can't. I'd be cross too. But there is a huge bunch of developmental stuff going on that will remedy it all (by 10-11 months they can do a lot more and are usually happier, IME) - which has the side-effect of messing with their sleep. It will pass!
9 months was the worst time IMO. There were a lot of tears (mine and hers) here at that time - but as others have said, it does pass. DD made a huge turnaround at 12 months and was like a different baby.
Hang on in there. The whole first year is hard work! It gets better- by 18 months they are a lot easier, by 2, by 3, by 5, by 8..........!
Thanks for replying everyone, I now feel absolutely awful for moaning as I noticed this morning she was pulling her ear so took her to GP and she has an ear infection as well as 6 teeth popping in 2 weeks so bless her I think she deserves to be grumpy. So it's loads more cuddles for DD and plenty of for me x
For me it hasnt been like the others said. 9 and 10 months DD was delightful and I mean delightful - always happy and content. Now DD's 14 months and has turned really grumpy
DS was v grumpy at 8 months or so. Now he's learned to crawl and cruise he's a lot happier. His sleep is crap at moment though...
Just wanted to say that my DD was exactly the same. She really improved at around 11 months and now, at 15 months she's an absolute joy! I remember that 7-9 months was the hardest though...stick in there
My DS was 6 weeks prem too, I remember with horror the first few months (had severe reflux and constipation too, still does). In fact, thinking about it still brings me out in a cold sweat He is now 11 months and I am loving this age! As soon as he started crawling and cruising he is just so much more pleasant to be around. I think being 6 weeks early meant even more frustration - he knew what he wanted to do but just couldn't do it. At 7-8 months old he had tantrums that would make a 2 year-old's look tame. He sat at 8 months, then quickly moved onto crawling and cruising. And now he'll sit happily and play. It's a miracle!
Anyway, my point is that at 9 months (or 7.5 corrected), there are so many developmental milestones that occur that I think they get simultaneously frustrated and scared. And from your point of view, your world's been chaos for the last 9 months and you just want some type of order or normality back, so it's even harder to go through.
Hang in there, it does get better! (Although I have a feeling it will soon get worse - doesn't it just seem that as soon as you think you're sorted something else comes along and you're back to square one?)
BionicEmu I definately agree about the tantrums they are bloody shocking at times and it sounds like I am murdering her, I try not to take it personally and remind myself that this is her communicating in the only way she can.
I definately know she gets frustrated but she has sat well unaided for about 2 months now and actually started crawling today so I am a very proud mummy which made up for the fact that she refused to sleep at all last night
Thank you once again for everyone's replies, it really helps to know that others have being through similar and lived to tell the tale
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