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Worried about my boy. He's says I don't love him and today bit himself then...

(7 Posts)
Pancakeflipper Sat 24-Sep-11 12:54:06

I have a 6 yr old boy.
He seems very happy the majority of the time. Happy and movitivated at school so far into this term. Happy with friends.. he's the grinning kid.

He is very much a hugger with me and we do love each others company. He's a kid who is funny with an interesting informative look on life so conversation is good fun and entertaining.

But in recent weeks he's often exploded in temper over silly things like " come back and put your shoes where they should go.." and he's announced " You don't love me." or "You will send me away to live elsewhere.".

We do say I love you lots. I haven't a clue where the going to live elsewhere has come from. I have never done any of those horrid threats.

This morning he said his little brother had bitten him.
Now his little brother is going through a biting/hitting phase. BUT his little brother cannot have done this particular bite because little brother was with me at the time and the bite was in a place that was easy to bite yourself but a difficult position for someone else to do.

He did say after I said "please tell me the truth...." that he had bit himself.

Have any of you had any experience of this? If so what reasons?

I am wondering if he feels there's no time for just him and me? I spend alot of time with him but it is shared with his younger brother or other people around.

I wonder if he's missing the garden. I know it sounds silly. We are having building works and the garden has been out of bounds since July as it's dangerous. We have been to the woods and park alot but it's not the same is it? Yesterday he went to tea at his friends and was an hour late coming home as they were having such fun in the garden.

I am worried he's getting into an emotional tangle. Not sure what to do really... I will obviously find some time to chat with him about this and him.

But would to hear from others who have had similiar for reassurance.

myjobismum Sat 24-Sep-11 13:16:26

Awwww I know exactly where you are coming from! My DS is 6 a month today and he is just like your little boy - happy, confident, chatty, smiley and enjoys life!

Just recently we have very much been getting sobbing or cross responses when he is asked to do something or told off, his instant reaction is 'you don't love me do you?' or 'I can't live in this house anymore can I?' it makes me feel so sad, I just try and be reassuring, but don't know what more to do!

No idea on the biting front but we have had similar ridiculous lies over things happening!

Maybe it is an age thing? I am not sure - but whatever it is I don't like it and hope it passes soon sad

spamm Sat 24-Sep-11 13:44:30

I have some similar things from my lovely 6 year old. I think part of it is settling into a new school environment - he has just started 1st grade here in the USA.

Most of the time he is a delightful, chatty, gorgeous little boy. But sometimes when something happens or he does not get his way, he gets very angry and upset. He is very dramatic about things.

He is taking out his anger on himself, and finds it hard to control his temper when he is unhappy about something. I am working with his teacher to help him talk about things when he is angry, and she says he is doing better every day. I try and tell him that getting angry is ok, everybody gets angry, but that he has to learn to handle it.

I have also dramatically cut time in front of tv and computer games. He is spending a lot more time playing with his toys, and talking to us. The next step is helping him to find new friends, we are new to the country and the neighborhood, so he needs to find new people to play with.

I think your idea about needing exercise is important. I find that the more exercise my ds gets, the better he is.

Glad to hear we are not the only ones going through this with our little ds, it feels lonely sometimes.

Pancakeflipper Sat 24-Sep-11 19:07:56

Oh it is good to hear it's not just me. Not that I wish this on anyone else... but you know what I mean ....

Well the afternoon turned into a disaster.

He'd been at a party and all fine. We were lift sharing with a good friend of his and his parents asked if our son could stay at their home for a bit longer to play. Brill cos we had to go to a boring carpet shop. Collected him 2 hrs later and he threw a strop at their house cos he had to come home.

We got home and I couldn't speak to him. I was cross. I wasn't going to lose my temper. So I asked him to go to his room until it was dinner time. He has apologised. We have made friends but I have said we will talk tomorrow. Iam too emotional to do it rationally today - I would probably cry.

LizzieMo Sat 24-Sep-11 20:22:16

Sounds like he got a bit tired and overwhelmed this afternoon. A party, then play at a friends house, lots of excitement. My DD gets like that at the end of parties, I have to watch that it doesnot turn into 'meltdown'. I would put it down to adjusting to being back at school again, and his age. Hope he will grow out of it!!

nickschick Sat 24-Sep-11 20:29:59

A curious thing happens to little boys at various ages suddenly they move up a scale and develop habits and traits of an older boy sometimes a much younger boy too.....I think 6 can be a confusing age a little bit older in school so not so much play and more learning,responsibilities and tasks seem to go along with being 6 and boys being boys (i have 3) they have this 'fizz' of energy and curiousity and it bubbles over and sometimes its like a jekyll and hyde and they become very unreasonable and very agitated and indeed aggressive they also test the ground with truth and fibs and do things they 'know' they shouldnt.......the thing I find with boys is they learn better with love .....so by all means get cross and feel angry with them but try and pull it back and 'be friends' before long - little boys of 6 need a mum with strong arms - strong enough to pull them away from trouble yet strong enough to hug them to death(and strong enough to put up footy nets and catch a 6 yr old as he dangles from the tallest tree).

nickschick Sat 24-Sep-11 20:30:46

And late Sept early Oct is the bubble pot of bad behaviour - early mornings back at school and dark nights seem to drive children mad ......

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