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Please advise re 7 year old ds!! Bit sensitive- sorry!!

(19 Posts)
Mampig Thu 22-Sep-11 23:38:33

Hi all! I'm really worried as my 7 yo ds jumped onto bed with my 2 dd aged 5 and 2 tonight for their bed time story. We were just home from family meal out. Anyway, mid story he announced that 2 yo dd had wet pants!! Obviously I was v shocked as he must have felt her private parts to know this. I've had chat with him on his own about privates etc tonight and told him never to do this again. I would be particularly sensitive about these matters for personal reasons. Has anyone any advice on this? Am I over reacting to his normal curiosity!? Any input greatly appreciated!! Thanks

cece Thu 22-Sep-11 23:42:20

Surely if they were in bed the bed would have been wet too? If so he might have felt the wet sheet. TBH him feeling her knickers wouldn't have entered my head.

Mampig Thu 22-Sep-11 23:49:03

Well no she hadn't wet the bed. Her pants were damp as I'm training her to wipe herself and sometimes she forgets so wud have been just a dribble of wet on them. He told me that he had touched her pants... He's turning 7 next week fwiw??

cece Fri 23-Sep-11 00:00:37

Did you ask her about her pants? Perhaps he was checking because you prompted her?

Otherwise not sure what to say to you. Not something that my DS1 would do (he is 7) but his sister is older so not the same situation.

babartheelephant Fri 23-Sep-11 00:05:44

maybe he was just copying what you do ie. checking her pants? My son is 7 and copies a lot of my behaviour, and did once try to wipe our 5 year old's bum. I think you are proably overly worried.

Mampig Fri 23-Sep-11 00:08:28

Thanks cece! I think I might be over reacting as it's possible he caught a feel by accident as they were very lively due to the night out. Think I am just so shocked but don't want to dwell on it either ifkwim? He was in tears by the time I stopped lecturing him about it sad maybe I've gone too farconfusedconfused!??

nickschick Fri 23-Sep-11 00:11:49

I dont think at this age they are always aware of privacy - I think at some point hes noticed she was wet and has just checked to be on the safe side - hes really not old enough to understand tthe inappropriate thing and as she is his sister it probably feels more acceptable I think you did right reminding him of 'private' being just that but dont over think things .......on the other level ds3 announced one sunday lunch that ds1 had a hairy winky cue a vvv blush ds3 and a vvv shock grandad grin.

Mampig Fri 23-Sep-11 00:12:39

Yes Babartheelephant- he would see me checking so maybe? We've also had new baby recently and he would check his nappy- by smelling it!! perhaps he's trying to be grown up and copy me? He would see himself as my helper! Thanks for that!!

lovingthecoast Fri 23-Sep-11 00:13:23

Gosh, I wouldn't have mentioned it at all. It was probably nothing and you may well have made him feel ashamed over something perfectly innocent. On its own I would not see this as a worrying incident and at most you should just have said 'that's a job for Mummy to check.'

My DS1 is almost 8 and he too has tried to wipe both his little sisters' bums for them. Nothing sinister, just checking and trying to help.

Mampig Fri 23-Sep-11 00:17:21

Oh nickschick that's hilarious! You've all made me feel much better!! I know that you're right re his age as he is still so young to understand all of this!

Mampig Fri 23-Sep-11 00:20:34

Lovingthecoast- I know u are right! It's my own paranoia at play here! I will just forget it- god I dread to think about what was going thru my head!!! But that's my prob- not his! Thanks again everyone- you've really reassured me!!

nickschick Fri 23-Sep-11 00:22:24

grin see your family is normal compared to mine wink.

lovingthecoast Fri 23-Sep-11 00:28:06

Oh don't beat yourself up, I'm sure you haven't scarred him for life, probably just confused him a little esp if he thought he was being helpful by checking.

If your own background is causes you to be over-anxious then it's good that you are aware that is the case. I'm sure it will be fine as he's too young to have sexualised the situation even though he's not to young to understand you telling him that some parts of his and her bodies are private.

Jesusgirl Fri 23-Sep-11 03:07:04

I think you were right talking to him about it as long as it wasn't in a 'telling off' way.

I have a 7 yo ds and a 2 yo dd and they both know about private bits being private.

The fact that he told you she was wet is very reassuring that it was an innocent thing but at least now he knows he shouldn't be touching girls' bits.


Mampig Fri 23-Sep-11 07:44:59

Thank u all for your replies! You've reassured me no end!! Xo

ChippingIn Fri 23-Sep-11 07:49:32

I think that you need to think carefully about what you said to him and see if there's anything else you need to do now. You told him off so much about this he cried - did you say anything that now needs talking about?

I'm sorry you've been through something that has made you over react like this sad

Mampig Fri 23-Sep-11 10:16:37

I think he's ok- totally normal this morning and even talked about it. Not in a serious way but just mentioned that I should check her pants this morning to make sure they are not wet. He told me he cried because he thought he might have upset dd. But I have explained that he didn't but reinforced privacy issue. Do u think that was ok?

Pinkseren Fri 23-Sep-11 11:31:33

I think you have done absolutely the right thing. Reinforcing is good and he will now understand. I think you've handled things very well.

Bluebell99 Fri 23-Sep-11 11:34:43

Maybe he saw she had wet pants, ie they looked wet? I think you are overreacting tbh.

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