What do you do when your toddler won't stop

[deliakate]

More and more often, DS who is 2 will stand in front of me and basically trash whatever is within his reach. Or he will hover about his 3 month old sister, sometimes hitting her, other times, just looking like he is going to, or stealing all her toys. He ignores me telling him to stop. If I physically stop him (ie. if its dangerous to him or DD or he is really damaging something), he twists, turns, falls over and cries and then goes right back to it, so I feel like I'm being violent and ineffective in one.

I have nowhere to put him for a time out - he can now get out of his cot and his playpen - and I don't think I can start a naughty step right now with the demands of 3 month old who I am trying to breast-feed. When she is crying too, I cannot hear myself think, let alone get all Jo Frost on DS, and I just don't have time for placing him back on the step 10 or 20 times each incident.

What do other people do? Please! End of my tether.

[CombineArvester]

You need to be consistent whatever you do. Firstly tell him to stop as little as possible - I turned a blind eye to a hell of a lot at that age whilst bfing a new baby! Make sure when you are feeding he is out in the garden or doing something he likes doing, even if it is eating or watching tv. Ignore toy stealing as far as possible - unless she is actually holding it, it is not hers in their eyes. If he is snatching it out of her hand then tell him no and give it back. You will do this a thousand times then on the thousandth time he will realise you mean it and stop doing it (for a little while - or do it a lot less!)

When you need to physically stop him e.g. danger then hold him on the step / on your lap, if you can't hold him on your lap then strap him in buggy or highchair if you really need to.

[themightyskim]

you must be so frustrated, I cant offer you a lot of advice because I basically put the 4 year olds equivalent of this post on yesterday but two things, I have noticed that praising the good minimised the bad, and the naughty step, while hard work the first few times works really quickly, I think DSD only got off hers a handfull of times, so is there anyway you could have a friend or family member helping with your baby while you re-inforced it to start?

[Firawla]

pick him up n move him. i dont do the thing of keep putting them back in time out every 1 minute either but i do have a time out place of sitting in the coridoor, or i just use any corner or wall if necessary. doesnt need to b somewhere they cant get out. i just tell mine off in a firm voice and send him to sit there, if he doesnt go ill pick him up n put him there myself, i dont bother timing it, he can come back when calm and apologises calmly - to me thats easier than strictly timing and making it more of a battle. like you i have littler ones and cant be doing with it! but it still tends to work okay for me without all the timing thing

[deliakate]

Thanks for replies.

I'm trying to let a lot go, that's good advice.

I'm not too bothered by the toy stealing, but trying to hurt her is so difficult to cope with. He will hit her in the face at times, so of course she is wailing, and he can't even hear my trying to discipline him. I need to comfort baby then, so it would feel so wrong to leave her to hold him still. Its all I can do not to hit him to make him stop hurting her.

He gets out of his cot up to 20 times every bedtime, so I just can't imagine he will be any quicker at staying put on a step....

[cmt1375]

resorted to strapping mine in the pushchair for short times at a simliar age as he took to wrecking stuff whenever I was feeding his brother.. if he interupted the feed I strapped in the pushchair until I had finished. I didn't have to do it often.

[deliakate]

God, he can get out of that! I need to tighten the straps.

[Iggly]

He's too young for naughty step style discipline IMO.

DS is 2 and responds well to positive attention- show him how to touch the baby gently and praise him when he does. Keep saying gently gently and stroke his hand on her hands/feet for example.

Spend some time with him when baby is napping - playing how he likes etc etc so he's getting your attention.

Have you got a sling you can have baby in? That will make things a bit easier.

Also make sure DS is well fed and napped so he's less likely to kick off. Take him to the park or outside for a runabout for example.