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DD2 2.6yrs still biting/hitting

(4 Posts)
jasperc163 Tue 20-Sep-11 18:24:14

I have posted on here before but quite a while back about my very dominant DD2 who has been biting/hitting/pushing etc since about 15 months. She has a passive 5yr old sister who she has in tears on a fairly regular basis. We stopped going to any toddler type things a long time ago as I had to hover so much over her that it became very stressful.

She is with a childminder 3 days a week and is consistently told by CM and us that we don't do these things, use time out/naughty step, fuss of other child, apologise profusely myself, get her to say sorry etc etc. She knows she isn't meant too (and will talk about what she has done after the event) but we can't seem to stop it. She has just started with a new CM 2 of the 3 days and whilst an angel for the first half of the day, this she has been using toys to hit and then bit (thankfully very lightly) the CMs DD (same age) on the face this afternoon. Sharing is a big issue at them moment, but it isnt the sole cause. She starts preschool in January and I am dreading it as can see her being labelled the nasty child (she is a very fun, full on toddler with a great sense of humour when not misbehaving!).

Has anyone dealt with this degree of this problem and at what age did it stop and did you come up with something that actually helped? The situation is obviously extremely embarrassing and, on a practical level, we are going to have problems if we lose childcare (CM has been very nice about it today but its only the first day).

thanks in desperation!

heather1 Tue 20-Sep-11 18:31:33

Hi, I have indirect experience of this. Its a bit of a long story to please bear with me! My friends DS2 was becoming a bad biter aged 2. Infact we started calling him DS2thebiter because he was so bad. Would bit older brother 5, also mother and other children at nursery. She tried naughty step, putting in cot for couple minutes, saying very firmly "no we do not bite" etc. So I asked my sister who is a nursery nurse. She explained that biting espically at nursery can be a sigh of being overwhelmed, anxcious and also needing more attendion (Im not saying jasperc163 that you dont give your DD attention, its the childs perception of attention). So she reccommended that at nursery DS2 was followed/closely watched by a member of staff. The minute any biting or bad behaviour was spotted then DS2 was distracted or reminded very firmly before it happened "we do not bite" . This worked well and he is no longer a biter. I hope this is of help.

jasperc163 Tue 20-Sep-11 18:42:58

Thanks alot Heather. At home it isn't such a problem any more but in social situations yes. Sometimes i am sure it is frustration at wanting attention but it is also sharing (though only recently - she bit a younger child 2 days ago who was wearing her wellies!) or getting excited, or sheer opportunism (no provocation at all). There is, realistically, only so much i can do to control the environment (as I said I dont put her in these situations when she is with me if I can help it) but she has to go to a childminder (nursery would be worse i think) and will have to go to preschool.

She is extremely confident (or appears so) and has learnt that she can dominate smaller (most of them as she is very tall) or less dominant children (most of them!). On the flip side she can also be extremely affectionate and loving to small children - its just you dont know which way she is going to go :-(

jasperc163 Wed 21-Sep-11 06:47:08

can anybody else help?

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