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3yr old not showing any sympathy for his 1yr old sister - is this usual?

(2 Posts)
choceyes Tue 20-Sep-11 10:16:41

My DS who is 2.10yrs, doesn't really seem to get bothered by his sisters crying.

They both go to the same nursery and for the last 3 weeks my DD has been settling into nursery, but finding it a bit difficult and cries a lot when I leave. My DS who is in the next room, and can hear her crying, just gets on with eating his breakfast and shows no concern than his sister is crying. He will give her a cuddle if asked, but that's it.
He is not used to seeing his sister cry at home, so I thought he would find it unusual and distressing hearing her cry at nursery? Am I expecting too much from him?

He did ONCE express some concern when we were trying to wipe her eyes which were gunked up and she didn't like it and started crying, and DS cried a bit too.

He does try to hurt her a lot, pushing her, snatching toys, hitting her etc and shows no remorse and says sorry in a mocking manner.

I don't know what to do with him and I feel like I am shouting at him all the time to leave her alone, and it is really affecting my relationship with him. He was away for the weekend with DH and I didn't even miss him which I felt terrible about.

He can be gentle and caring sometimes. He likes playing with dolls and role playing giving them milk etc. HE also gets upset if I am upset, so I know he can empathise with others. When he goes to bed at night, he makes sure that he puts his lullabies on really quitely saying that "DD is sleeping and so I put on lullabies really quietly" - Is this a sign that he cares?

Is this all age appropriate behaviour?

cory Tue 20-Sep-11 11:07:20

Seems about par for the course. Keep going, give him oodles of love and attention and tell him off if he actively hurts her but don't worry if he fails to engage.

tbh you might find it even more annoying if you had had one of those protective little boys who are forever interfering in your parenting and won't let you upset anyone. I had one of each- dd was hardhearted and ds was a softie- and I certainly know which one got on my nerves.

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