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I need some HELP! advice please....

(5 Posts)
Dawnus Sat 17-Sep-11 14:35:30

My son is 7 years old, a very young 7 in retrospect to many of his friends I would say. he is also easily led,a huge worry of ours!

We found out yesterday that he and a friend were blackmailed by a group of 9 year old girls who live nearby.

They were told 'they would not be able to get out of the hedge (where they were playing - as boys do) and they would tell me that he had said some swear words IF 'they (being my son and his friend) did not kiss and touch willies!!'

OMG was the first thing to spring to mind.

I spoke with my son and with some reluctance and upset he told me the full story from his perspective, and how it made him feel.

I also spoke with 'the friend' and without giving away any of what I'd been told - he also reluctantly told me what happened.

Do older children not consider the impact of their stupid ideas on these kids!!

So, here's my question...do I go and speak to the mums/dads of the girls?
Do I leave it and trust that my son will come home immediately if he is ever put in that position again?

I'm gutted about this tbh, and as parents we always blame ourselves which makes the situation worse in our heads!

Some advice or experiences of this would be very welcome please...

Thank you x

DaveGrohlsgirl Sat 17-Sep-11 14:42:24

I have very young 8 year old DD.
A similar situation happened to her last year at school.......more rumours about what she and her "boyfriend" were going to do to each other.

DD was (thankfully) completely oblivious to the impact of these rumours, but we had many conversations about what real friends will / will not say and do.
The only difference is that these things were happening on school grounds so I also had the complete backing of school.
Do these older kids go to the same school as your DS? If so then I would be tempted to talk to the school about it.

Dawnus Sat 17-Sep-11 14:56:32

Thanks for your reply...the girls don't, his friend does (same yr group, different class). I hate it, I'm sure I'm more worried about any if this than he is sad

I just wish he would say 'no' and when we tell him that some if these children just aren't very nice...that he will believe us.
He just wants to fit in and have friends I suppose?!

Like you say, it's not an easy lesson to learn about proper friends and children that say they're friends but simply don't act like it.

DaveGrohlsgirl Sat 17-Sep-11 15:02:29

Exactly...we have the same with DD.
Its so hard to watch them when this sort of stuff happens.
Last year was a hard one for DD.....everyone in her year seemed to take that social leap forward entering YR3 and she just didn't.
I played things very carefully at first, trying to give her strategies that might help her, like playing with someone else, leaving the situation etc etc, but she always kept saying "but IS my friend Mummy!!"
In the end after many incidents I just ended up saying to her "You know what DD, I dont like I think that they aren't very nice, and I don't want you anywhere near them any more" blush
Harsh, but it worked
It may be just as well, if this is happening after / outside of school, just to say to your DS "If you see these children again and they come over to you to talk, just walk away and come home"

DaveGrohlsgirl Sat 17-Sep-11 15:04:54

Sorry - something funny happened there....
Meant to write
"but child A is my friend"
and then "I don't like child A

Hopefully you get the jist!!

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