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Can you help me stop worrying about DD?

(3 Posts)
MonaMelendy Thu 15-Sep-11 21:11:02

I think I could do with a good talking to.

DD2 is 8. She has just gone into Y4 and is doing fine at school, but for some reason I have always been worried about her. I think partly it's because she's the second one. DD1 is 3 years older and has always been a fairly classic older child - responsible, mature, hardworking and tuned in to others. DD2 in contrast was late doing everything - although still in the normal range, just. She didn't walk till she was nearly 18 months and her speech was very unclear for a long time and is still quite babyish. She never saw the point in trying hard to please like DD1, doing everything only when she felt like it. In fact she's always seemed to be quite happy with herself.

My worry is mainly social. She is lucky to have one best friend, but I don't think she has any idea how to get along with the class as a whole. She is not good at reading people's signals. She can be quite annoying - if she wants an answer to something she won't drop it until she gets one, whatever else you may be doing at the time. She can be really pedantic and get incredibly stressed if she doesn't understand something. A lot of that side of her is still quite toddler-y, it seems to me. Combined with her babyish way of talking I can imagine this is not doing her any favours with the Y4 girls. I thought things were improving as last year she was suddenly invited to a lot of parties, but today there was a vote for class captain or something, and she told me not one person voted for her.

Some adults describe her as 'quirky' or 'an individual', but at least one of the other girls has called her weird (mainly to do with the way she talks I think).
Again she seems ok about it, but I'm really worried. Can I help her understand how to get on better with people? She's not keen on talking about herself at all. Or should I just have faith that she will be ok?

Sorry this has turned out so long! Please feel free to tell me if I'm being an idiot.

ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs Thu 15-Sep-11 21:54:38

Have her teachers said anything? I know my DD had a friend who was book obsessed. She read anything if it stayed still long enough.
She was described as quirky and peculiar although only by her peers and the parents of her peers.
The teachers had noticed it but never mentioned it. __Mouthalmighty-- my DD did tell her mum that this child didn't have any friends. Mother hadn't even noticed which was somewhat strange.
You have seen something may be not quite right. IIWY, I'd have a word with her teacher, also, could you invite someone other than your DDs BF over for tea or to play?

Tgger Fri 16-Sep-11 00:07:12

I would say embrace her for who she is, support her and the rest will come with time and confidence.

We are all different.

Encourage her to broaden her friendships and gently model ways of dealing with things that she gets stressed about/reacts in a toddler like way.

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