Someone help! Am i handling this right?(13 Posts)
DS1 is 3 and has been potty trained for about 6/7 months actually maybe slightly longer, he was dry in a few days and has never had problems with wees in the toilet/potty. He did however still poo in his pants, he would occasionally sit on the toilet/potty and do one, we would all get really excited and praise/reward him when he did, but the next day he would poo in his pants again.
In June we had twin boys, DS1 immediately started pooing in the toilet every time, bar the odd accident, we were sorted. We kept up the praise and he was really pleased with himself.
He gets lots of attention from me, i make sure every minute i get i sit with him and read, or we play just me nd him.
So... Yesterday he was at nursery from 9.15 to 4.15, he woke at 8.15, had breakfast, got washed and dressed and then weed in his clean clothes, i changed him and didnt make a fuss. He went to nursery went on the potty all day, came home, about 5 oclock, he weed in his pants again, so i changed him, but was totally exasperated, i put shorts on him but no undies as they were all in the wash and i wasnt dirtying another pair before bed, he went and stood up against the wall and did a poo, it dropped right out of his trouser leg and on to he floor.
If he poos in his pants, a lot of the time i bin the undies because i only buy the cheapy ones and i am sick of the waste.
I told him he would have to wear nappies again during the day, as he can clearly do it, yesterday was just a protest.
The thing is we had no nappies so i have to go and get some today, so i feel like the punishment is delayed.
Help me please, i really dont know how to deal with this, everytime he says sorry i wont do it again mummy, but he does.
Poor little boy. He does seem young to be reliably clean TBH, I have friends with boys and, generally they were behind the girls in terms of being properly trained.
Does he have a UTI?
Thanks rips, the thing is i was never stressed about potty training and a lot of friends were training their younger children, boys and girls and i always thought i would leave it until he was ready, which indid, and he went and had a wee on his potty one day so we tried and he got the hang very quickly.
He has been reliably dry for 3 months and he goes to the toilet/potty with everyone else reliably except me, which is what makes me think its a protest that we have new babies, which i can understand.
How do i handle the fact he only has accidents for me? its not every time.
He still wears pull ups at night btw
Oh and uti, hadnt thought of that, will keep an eye on things
It probably is a reaction to your twins, but I would think of it less like a protest deliberately trying to be naughty and upset you, but rather his world has been turned upside-down and potty training is one area that often regresses. DD1 had been trained for a few months before DD2 was born and in the immediate weeks after the birth she suddenly started having wee accidents every day and quite a lot of poo accidents, which had never happened before. I tried to deal with it without making a fuss, saying something like " oh dear, try to get it in the potty next time". She went back to being dry fairly quickly. I also started rewarding her with chocolate every time she poo'd in the toilet, this had almost immediate results! I think if you punish him for accidents you might end up making the situation worse. I confess I still have not been able to wean her off the reward chocolate several months later, but really I think it's a small price to pay!
I agree with Zimbah. It's probably a reaction to the twins coming along. I know it's frustrating but don't put him back in nappies. Just praise him a lot when he goes in the toilet and ignore the accidents. .
sounds early for a boy to be completely dry but he probably does understand. My ds regressed a bit after training, it was like the novelty wore off! So we introduced a start chart or small reward for when he remembered to go to the loo.
i also noticed it was always worse when he was tired or had stuff going on. So give lots of cuddles and support. Instead of getting cross I started giving a cuddle saying oh dear it s difficult sometimes isn't it next time try get in the loo. Often a cuddle after an accident was what he needed or pre empting that he needed attention so he didnt have to havethe accident in the first place.
Good luck and hope it settles for you all soon.
Thanks all, you are right, i shouldnt get cross, i suppose its frustration more than anything, because i know he can do it. I do like the idea of a sticker chart, we used that when he was first potty training, i will start that again.
Thanks for the advice
I do think he is old enough to be dry/clean and you are right he has proved for a good length of time what he is capable of. His soiling may be as a result of the twins arriving but I think it is still a conscious decision he is making. I'm not saying you should punish him but I think you need to be firm, nappies are not the answer, he may like them! Makes him more like the babies.
I wouldn't change him myself, I would make sure he had access to clothes, and tell him to change himself - With the poo obviously you will need to clean him up a bit, but when he is clean he can put his own clothes on.
That way he will get less attention for doing it, and so less incentive, but do be kind, becoming a big brother is a lot harder for some kids than for others.
Good idea 2ddornot2dd and I think lots of positive comments, when applicable, about being such a grown up big brother may help him find his new position in the family and stop this "regression".
Oh thanks both, i really thought i was being mean expecting him to be toilet trained by what others had said!
He hasnt had any accidents so far since, so maybe he was just having a bad day, im su there will be more!
when my ds regresses with wee (thank god not poo)- he does get that damp pants but not full accident for a few days every few months and is 4, potty trained since 2 - i start taking him to the toilet every 1.5 hrs, and explain that until he keeps himself clean and dry i can't trust him to choose when to go to the loo, and he has to go when i say. he hates it as he can never be bothered going and always leaves it til the last minute - hence the accidents. grrr. ongoing battle.
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