Pop psychology. Why does my 3yo resist anything that is suggested to him in a jolly way?

[allhailtheaubergine]

If I don't tell him we're doing something he generally takes it in his stride as and when things happen.

If I tell him something is happening but in a very low-key, boring way he is a bit resistant but if I then drop the subject he'll often come round.

If I say "We're doing X later, that might be fun!" he has a furious tantrum and flatly refuses to do X.

If anything is ever suggested to him as something fun or positive or that he might enjoy, no matter how big or small, he resists it completely.

And I'm not gushing about things either - I just mean a slightly positive slant to things.

Obviously there is a mangled and tortured logical reason for this in his 3yo little head. Why do you think it might be?

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Typical example from this morning:

Me: You've got baking at school today! I've named your sheepy apron and put it in your bag.
Him: I DON'T WANT TO LEARN BAKING. I DON'T WANT MY SHEEPY APRON! I DON'T WANT A NAME IN IT!
And he threw it out of his bag and stormed off.

However, if I'd not mentioned it at all and just put the apron in his bag he would have been quite happy to discover it at school and to make shape biscuits.

Whyyyyyyyyyy?????

[pinkytheshrinky]

Because he is three

My 2.5 year old has been heard saying, 'Nooooooooooooooo, I don't like sweets, I never like sweets'

I rest my case!

[allhailtheaubergine]

So he's just being difficult because he can? Because he feels like it?

[FetchezLaVache]

Is it a boundaries thing? Maybe he reacts like this because he feels you're trying to sell him something and is therefore trying to assert his authority in the matter, whereas if things just happen he doesn't get the chance to do that, or it doesn't occur to him. Or something.

[CalatalieSisters]

Agrtee with fetchez. He's cottoned on to the fact that the "jolly voice" is (sometimes) used to manipulate him into feeling positive about something and he's railing against this mild strategy of control.

[Meeshamie]

I have had similar with my 3.5 yo son. There was a phase where if we were sat round the table having lunch with grandparents/Aunts/Uncles and I mentioned to them that he liked such and such (just in conversation) he would flatly refuse to eat said food... it felt like my saying anything positive was the kiss of death. Kids eh?!!

[BellaneyMimphus]

I am still like that, I just don't do the tantrum
I cannot BEAR even the merest hint of a suggestion that i might be being manipulated. I go along with a lot of things and keep quiet because I'm a rational adult, though.