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4.5 year old has SCREAMED the house down every time he's had his hair washed for past 4.5 years.

(24 Posts)
nevergoogle Tue 13-Sep-11 20:05:26

my patience is failing.

help me make it stop.

for his future relationships sake hmm

Hassled Tue 13-Sep-11 20:07:30

Is he OK in the bath generally? Have you tried showers? Is it water on his head he objects to, or specifically the shampoo?

pamelat Tue 13-Sep-11 20:11:40

can he do his own? DD is 3.5 and is happier to do her own, I rinse it but then shes "allowed" mummys special leave in conditioner smile

Desiderata Tue 13-Sep-11 20:13:40

It's a mere childhood phase, and it will pass. Don't worry about what he's like as an adult. Adolescence will see to all of that.

In the meantime, make your life easier, and buy some Batiste dry shampoo.

Tyrionlovingyourwork Tue 13-Sep-11 20:19:27

I remember doing being hysterical as a child when getting my hair washed. I think I got shampoo in my eyes and so in the end tolerated lying in the bath to rinse. I wash DS's hair in the bath twice a week and have a routine of washing first and then playing. I use a cup to wet his hair, baby shampoo and then he lies in the bath with an emergency dry flannel nearby. wink

He especially loves playing with action figures in the bath as a treat- would this be something your DS would like? He probably has some normal toys that are waterproof.

nevergoogle Tue 13-Sep-11 20:20:22

he's happy to play in the bath, lots of splashing a mucking about, water pistols etc.

as soon as i want to wet his hair he screams. so i just get on with it as quickly as possible. i use a face cloth to rinse his hair, but the screaming doesn't stop til i stop and he gets on with playing.

it's purely to piss me off i'm sure.

his brother rinses his own with a jug of water.

nevergoogle Tue 13-Sep-11 20:22:43

tonight i got his brother to read the shampoo bottle.

no more tears!

must have been a mix up at the factory. our bottle appears to be filled with 'scrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeaammmmm all you like'

Tyrionlovingyourwork Tue 13-Sep-11 20:34:03

Doing being hysterical??? eh I was upset - I was scarred emotionally through shampoo in the eye.

Also try other people bathing DS so he isn't expecting the same routine.

Tyrionlovingyourwork Tue 13-Sep-11 20:35:15

Try lying him down in shallow water to rinse. Not ideal and you may need to do this before your other DS gets in.

nevergoogle Tue 13-Sep-11 21:04:29

he is most definitely being doing hysterical smile

here's the thing, he stops crying immediately! even laughs at his brother and carries on playing. it's like he just thinks, oh hair washing, better start screaming then!

the water doesn't even go in his eyes, but yes we have the dry towel at the ready.

maaaaaaammmmyyy, maaaaaaaaaammmmyyyy.

it's blood curdling and totally unnecessary.

grrr.

mejon Tue 13-Sep-11 21:06:56

I share your pain. DD1 is 5 and still does it regardless of method - jug/cup/sponge/showerhead. Yet she'll happily dunk her head underwater inthe swimming pool. I wash her hair once a week as a result as my blood pressure can't take it ! God help us if (when) she gets nits.

hazeyjane Tue 13-Sep-11 21:12:24

Dd2 has always done this, she is 4.5, has huge amounts of fine curly hair, which dreads, and is basically a nit-magnet, it is impossible to wash it with a flannel and every method we have ever tried ends with her screaming like a banshee, then shivering and sobbing whilst wrapped in a towel, whilst the whole household (and the street, probably) try to recover from the trauma.

stirlingstar Tue 13-Sep-11 21:13:28

Things that have worked (a bit, sometimes) for us are:

(1) give him some control, so eg say that you'll only pour the water on once he says 'ready', or make the 'ready' some kind of fun signal. For some reason, the idea of fun signal in our house is when the flannel is slapped on the side of the bath...

(2) DC's do each others' head wetting and rinsing, using an unfeasably enormous jug. I think this is a bit of fun and just breaks the pattern of mum-does-this-so-I-yell

stirlingstar Tue 13-Sep-11 21:15:04

Should say - we are the family that had the neighbours knocking on the door at one holiday let, demanding to have sight of the child as they thought he was being beaten up / abused. No, he was having his hair washed. grin

nevergoogle Tue 13-Sep-11 21:17:31

oooh, very good suggestions stirlingstar.

yes i'm sure the new neighbours will be wondering what on earth we are doing to him.

Tgger Tue 13-Sep-11 21:22:47

We had this. Luckily it has just about passed (DS 5 in October). Now he has handed on the baton to DD (nearly 3). I think she will be better as she generally takes the lead from DS.

Probably a lot is to do with age, but DS has improved since we explained how he could put his head back, shut his eyes and the water and the shampoo would NOT go anywhere near him.

WhoWhoWhoWho Tue 13-Sep-11 21:25:55

DS is 7 in October, only in the last month has hair washing become less of an ordeal. The answer to our problems was to buy a good quality, and therefore well fitting, pair of swimming goggles specifically to use for hair washing purposes. hmm He would throw himself around in the bath, splash all over, swim in the bath - then come hair washing time he would be all tears, screams and protests! confused

missmaypole Tue 13-Sep-11 21:29:48

Why don't you stop washing it? Getting wet in bath/shower should be fine. My boys are older (all with very different types of hair) and have never regularly washed their hair, maybe 2/3 times a year with shampoo. No cradle cap, no nits, doesn't smell .. . .

hugglymugly Tue 13-Sep-11 21:36:58

Do you use one of those special shower caps or visors? It could be the sensation of water over the face or in the ears that he has problems with.

Maybe also give him a mirror so he can see what's going on. Some people do have very sensitive scalps and hate being touched on the head. But if he got some visual clues as to what's going on, he might feel more comfortable about it.

Or perhaps separate the hair-washing from bathtime and try to tackle this issue at another time in the day when he's less tired. If you have enough room on your kitchen worktop, maybe you could try washing his hair in the kitchen sink by lying him down on his back, with his neck supported on a rolled-up towel, much like a back-wash at the hairdressers, but also with a mirror so he can see what's going on.

Blatherskite Tue 13-Sep-11 21:37:10

DS does this. Happy to dunk himself under the water at swimming and even swims with his head under the water but come bathtime - it's all tears and tantrums.

Pool water is different apparently hmm

hazeyjane Tue 13-Sep-11 21:51:51

We have tried mirror, and goggles and visor (all varieties) and special jug, however calmly we explain that she needs to put her head back, when it comes to the moment of water on the hair (it's not necessarily the shampoo she objects to, just getting her hair in any way wet!), she flails around so much that it does go on her face and in her eyes, and then it is an everloving nightmare!

nevergoogle Wed 14-Sep-11 10:03:21

i'm so happy i'm not alone with this.

thanks.

Blatherskite Mon 19-Sep-11 14:04:42

We've had a breakthrough. DS will very happily lie back in the water with just his face showing. By dousing him in shampoo first and swishing his hair about when he's laid out, we've been able to do tear free hairwashings two nights running now. He's even been happy to rinse any leftover suds off under the shower. Hallelujah! grin

mmmerangue Mon 19-Sep-11 14:38:07

I too was scarred by shampoo in the eyes as a child... although I don't know if the screaming and wriggling came before or after the shampooing of the eyeballs! In fact i hated washing my own hair too, when i got old enough. Still got shampoo everywhere. When I was about 11 we finally got a shower and my dreams came true, i found a way to rinse it out without blinding myself!!

I think at one point my mum actually did stop washing my hair until I complained that it was greasy because I made such a fuss about getting it washed. (PS my mother didn't believe in buying nice no-more-tears shampoo I got whatever she got.... now i have a kid when we get through the gift-box johnsons' he (and mummy!) are on watermelon no-more-tears for life!)

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