19month won't stop screaming(9 Posts)
I have a 19mth old and he's well in himself, active we go out a lot and I try do as much as I can with him(prob could be bit more interactive) we go out to playgroups and parks everyday, I'm a single parent and he is very frustrated at the moment hitting me and others when doesn't get his own way but also will not shake this extreme screaming at any time particularly when frustrated, I do get it but jus wandering wot I could be doing better, he screams in the morning until I get him out of bed relentlessly, I try naughty spot, talking calmly at his level, smacking his hand, shouting and none of it's worked really well, any advice would be great!! Draing me and I'm struggling to keep positive I'm being a good mum!
The only thing that worked with mine at that age was walking away. If she was somewhere safe that I could leave her, so at home or at toddlers group for example, I would say very sternly 'that isn't nice, mummy doesn't like it' and then walk away and stop interacting with her.
It wasn't nice whilst it lasted but she soon learnt that if she wanted mummy she couldn't behave like that.
If she hit others, I immediately removed her from the fun and toys and again used stern voice etc.
I think the thing to remember is that you have to be consistent and not expect the problem to solve itself overnight. Pick a method that you are happy to use, stick to it and give it time to have an effect.
Do you mean with screaming-don't react jus leave him to it? I removed him 3times today at playgroups for hitting another child and he jus kept doing it, I didn't Want to just leave as I want him to learn to behave not just be taken away from everything when misbehaving
I meant that if I'm at home say and she had a little screaming fit because she wanted something, that sort of thing, I would sternly tell her to stop, when she didn't I'd say 'that isn't nice, mummy doesn't like it' then put her down somewhere safe and I'd just walk out and stay in another room until she stopped. Then I'd go back in and say something like 'have you finished now? good, lets play with some toys' and then carry on like normal.
Out at playgroup, if the hissy fit was aimed at me, I do exactly the same. Just move her away from the others, explain that it isn't nice and then walk away from her, leaving her having a tantrum in the corner. After a while she would stop and then come over to play again and I'd say something like 'thats better, you were being silly, now lets do this puzzle' and carry on like normal.
If she hit another child, I would pick her up remove her from the others. Take her over to the corner of the room, get down on her level, eye contact and say very sternly 'we do not hit people, that is naughty'. By this age my DD could speak quite well, so I would then frogmarch her over to the child she hit and make her say sorry. If this resulted in more screaming, I do what I would normally do for screaming, take her away from everyone, stern voice etc.
It didn't work straight away, but by doing the same thing everytime she soon got the idea and the phase didn't last too long.
Of course, its horses for courses though and someone else will come on soon to say how they did it and that it worked for them. I think the main key is consistency.
I should have said that I did this in conjunction with lots and lots of praise whenever she was playing nicely with another toddler.
Lots of 'well done Goody, you are sharing that toy very nicely, look amy likes to play with it too, isn't it nice to share' and that sort of thing.
I wanted her to get lots of praise and positive reinforcement when she was doing something good and to know that she wouldn't get away with it when she was mean.
Yep I'm bug on praise too and encouragement! Thank you for reinforcing what I think I already knew jus needed to know it will work eventually
Just stick with it and it will get better, just be consistent, even if it means you have to do it over and over again.
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