potty training 3 year old - should we go back in nappies?

[firsttimer08]

We have just started potty training DS who will be 3 in October. We never started before then as we thought he was not ready. So its been nappies off for the past two weeks (only underpants and bottoms), except at sleep times. Nursery is also following the same approach. We have a potty in his sight in the family room and also a toilet training seat (and a potty book to read). He's been using the toilet training seat for the poos for over 6-8 months (he still doesn't tell us, we just take him to the toilet when we see him grimacing his face i.e. a sign he is about to do a poo !).

So far, whenever we take him to the toilet/potty, he will do a wee or poo about 70% of the time. Remaining times if we take him there or ask him to use it he will refuse saying he doesn't need to use the potty, but then do a wee 5-10 minutes later. So we have been having plenty of accidents and even when he has an accident, he happily continues playing and does not tell us and is not the slightest bit uncomfortable (i.e. asking me to take off his wet pants). He is usually dry after naps or in the morning, if he has used the potty before going to sleep.

I know it has only been 2 weeks, but this is really stressing him out. Yesterday he kept asking me "please please, I want my nappy back". I am wondering whether he is just not ready for it and whether we put him back in nappies or maybe pullups and try again in 2-3 months time. My worry is that going back and forth between nappies and potty training may confuse him even more. Is that true? Also I worry, that everyone in his age group (and younger) are already trained and he needs to be trained by next September when he goes to school.

Help !! grateful for any advice / thoughts on this pls.

[wigglemama]

Are you rewarding him for peeing/pooing in the toilet/potty? This was a big thing with our ds. When he did a wee in the potty/toilet he got a chocolate button, a poo earned him 2! And of course we showered him with well done's and aren't you such a big boy!
Do you think he is aware of when a pee is coming? Or is just that he doesn't realise until it's too late?

[firsttimer08]

Yes forgot to mention - we have chocolate button rewards too.

I think many times he is not just aware - he does become aware though after he has done it, but doesn't really care.

[metalelephant]

I would wait a bit longer then, and try pull ups. He needs to want to do it himself rather than be taken to the potty, and it could be very soon.
Pull ups helped when we potty trained our DS as he could do it himself but what made the difference was spending a weekend with a slightly older little boy and observing him using the potty.

We had tried and failed at around 2.8, at first he was interested and then was getting really upset by our asking him if he needed to use the potty. So we left the potty there, but stopped asking him and putting him on.

After seeing the little boy, at around 2.10 he started using the potty, bit was terrified of public toilets ( the dryers would really sate him). So even when at nursery and at home he used the potty or little toilet, when out we would use pull ups or nappies.

Sorry this is long, what I'm getting to is that it'' been a long process and only now, at 3.1 is he able to use a potty outdoors or even public toilets...

Wait and try to be patient, I was worried it would never happen because of a lot of stories that go " mine was potty trained in a weekend". They are all different, and I'm sure your little boy will soon be proud of himself using the potty. Oh, stickers helped too!

Have you seen that portable potty that takes bags? Very easy to carry around and is also a toilet seat...

[metalelephant]

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B000ZEDKV2/ref=mp_s_a_1?qid=1315856161&sr=8-1&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

[firsttimer08]

thanks for your suggestions. I have been unsure about pull-ups as I have read in so many forums that this can only be confusing for the child. It is good to hear that in your case they have worked. We are also hoping that ds may follow the lead of other children at the nursery and start using the potty.

will invest in the travel potty - it sounds like a good idea.

[Tgger]

Personally I would go back to nappies (without making much of a deal about it) and do it again when he is about 3 and 2 months or so. This is mostly based on your comment that it's stressing him out.

Honestly, it's worth waiting the extra few months (especially for boys). When they are ready they are very easy to train and often the older they are the easier (presuming you haven't had lots and lots of false starts rather than just one). There's a long time till next September and even then the nursery staff will be used to dealing with accidents.