Is this something you recognise - 2 year old

[cottonreels]

My dd, lets call her Suzie, is 1.11 months and her language is really coming on, though she mostly used two word phrases.

At the moment everything seems to 'belong' to someone. So she would say "Suzies toy", and look at me for confirmation. But then she'll go on to say "Daddys car", "cats dinner", "Mummy's chair". Now some of these are quite correct - it is in fact her toy and I'll nod and say yes.

BUT some of these are not right, Mummy often sits in that chair, but she can in fact sit in any chair! So when I correct her attempts to move me into the chair she sees as mine (after saying not Mummys chair, everybodies chair) she will be incredibly insistent and basically end up throwing a tantrum unless distracted with something pretty good.

This happens all day long with endless items: the phone, the laptop, the keys, the kitchen bin...

So my question is: Is this something that all toddlers go through whilst they work out that some things are used uniquely and others are shared? And, do I just keep reinforcing that lots of different people use lots of different things?

[Flisspaps]

Perfectly normal, she's showing that she understands the concept of possession :)

[Flisspaps]

Posted too soon - she's showing that she's beginning to understand the concept of possession. Don't worry, you're not going to be forced to use that chair and only that chair forever more (just be grateful that not everything is 'mine'!)

[debka]

DD1 is 2.5. We were driving down the motorway the other day and she started SCREAMING out of the window- GO AWAY CARS!!!! MINE'S ROAD!!!!!!!!

[cottonreels]

Ha ha ha - am loving "Mines road"!
Well, thats a relief, all the toddlers around me don't seem to be doing that.
The thing is, your responses have made me realise something. She's also crap not great at sharing her toys or even the toys at toddler group, so it probably is to do with understanding possession.

[cottonreels]

And here we are again this morning - the builders are in the house and dd is crying every 5 mins saying "daddys stairs, daddys stairs" when they go up and downstairs!

[2ddornot2dd]

Is she very upset about it? DD1 did something similar, but I don't remember her getting uptight about it (other than daddy's remote control, and that was only protecting his most prized possession). I can understand it about toys etc, but not stairs, which presumably you all use < pictures a many staired mansion with cottonreels and littlecotton using the servants staircase.>

I do suspect she will grow out of it soon though when she realises that she can't do anything about it.

[bitzermaloney]

Very normal, if ds2 is anything to go by. He has developed a fear of 'bees' (by which he means any small flying creature), but nevertheless, woe betide you if you say 'Yes, that's a bee' - "No! MY bee! MY bee!" If he sees a cat on the street he'll ask mildly "My dat?" but if you say "No, it's someone else's cat", you get "NO! MY DAT! MY DAT!"

Love the 'mines road'. Some people never grow out of thinking that!

[StarlightMcKenzie]

cottonreels, I don't think it is anything to worry about, but nor do I think it is particularly usual.

There is some rigidity of thought there, which she might grow out of, but she might also need some help dealing with.

How does she find ending an activity and moving onto another? How does she act if you walk a different way to the car? Does she consistently respond to her name?

[cottonreels]

Ahh, thought Id killed the thread days ago!
Thanks for responding.
Only one staircase 2d - and yes we all use it all the time. All the essential and expensive things seem to be Daddy's. I get the cooker, the scissors, the laptop and the glasses of water I leave all over the place.
I honestly don't know whether to fall about laughing half the time, or get on the phone to the health visitor or something.
Starlight - to answer your questions- I can move her onto another activity but need to work it a bit and make the new activity sound far more interesting. I think she'd resist walking a new way to the car tbh. Yesterday I drove a different way to our house and when I didnt make the normal turning (about 100 yards away from the house) she did some fake crying pointing "Suzies House"
She does always respond to her name (unless Baby Jake is on).
Does that tell you anything?
How would I help her deal with the rigidity of thought??

[Iggly]

I think at this age, kids realise that some thing are done in certain ways, it almost reassures them. They like to repeat things over and over again and like to make sure there are rules in place as that's how they make sense of the world. They don't have a concept of variations etc.

DS is almost 2 and is a bit like this and I go with it sometimes (why not?) other times I'll say - before it happens - if something will change. So eg if at bedtime, DH does it instead of me (usually I do), I'll tell him many times that mummy's going to say bye bye and daddy do bedtime, daddy put DS to bed.

Same with a change in activity - toddlers get so engrossed in something that they actually don't hear you and when you make them stop they kick off. So five minutes before, I'll say DS, we're going to stop soon and go out. I'll repeat again after a minute or so then again. Most times then he'll happily cooperate. Contrast that to times when he's playing and someone takes him away and says let's go - he'll kick off. Not a surprise, I would!!

[HoneyPablo]

It's actually a very early mathematical concept - one-to-one correspondence. It comes before learning to count.

[cottonreels]

Thanks Iggly thats reassuring.
Honey thats fascinating, could you say more or provide a link. Shes just started to count to 5 accuratly If I help her point her fingers. More often than not if there is more than one 'thing' she just says "2".