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How to even begin discipline?

(9 Posts)
Lizzietow Sun 11-Sep-11 19:22:07

My 11 month old has just developed a habit of pinching me really hard - especially when she's tired. It hurts! I just wondered what others do - I've tried distraction, saying positive things instead of just "no" e.g. "let's stroke mummy nicely" and finally resorted to simply "no" in a firm tone of voice. No effect. Although she's so young, it might be something and nothing, but you know when you just need a bit of advice? Thanks!

Choufleur Sun 11-Sep-11 19:23:02

Say 'no' and put her down if you are holding her or move her away if not.

CosmicMouse Mon 12-Sep-11 08:33:12

IMO, with a child that young your tools are distraction, redirection and modelling. Depends on the situation as to which is more appropriate, but with pinching we tended to show her how to be gentle by stroking and if that didn't work, often gave her something else to fiddle with instead. It does get tiresome, but she's just exploring and learning boundaries.

CardyMow Mon 12-Sep-11 22:38:19

DS3 is 7mo, and has started pinching my arm so hard when he's BF'ing, that I have got little bruises on my arm. It has got to the point where I say 'OW, no, that hurts Mummy', and holding his arm still. Which he doesn't like, but he has got to learn that it's unkind and painful when he pinches someone. If he frees his arm and does it again, I say the same thing, but I sit him on the floor with his back to me for about 30 seconds (working on the 1 minute per year of age rule, 6mo+ but under 1y, I do 30 seconds). Sometimes he screams in temper if I put him down, but when I pick him up after 30 seconds, he doesn't tend to pinch again for that feed.

CardyMow Mon 12-Sep-11 22:39:35

Distraction didn't work for DS3, he would drop whatever I gave him to fiddle with, so that he could pinch again!

thecaptaincrocfamily Mon 12-Sep-11 22:51:02

I would recommend ' Ow! No pinching' then put her straight on the floor in front of you with her back to you when she does this. Also it needs to be consistent. By saying 'Ow' you are telling her it is sore, especially if you say it when she hurts herself so she understands the word. Then you are telling her what you don't like i.e. No pinching. Remove her hand at the same time before putting her on the floor or in the buggy. She will soon get the idea that she gets no attention for pinching.

Lizzietow Thu 15-Sep-11 22:38:42

Those are really helpful comments- thanks so much! grin

HipHopOpotomus Thu 15-Sep-11 22:46:59

I used to say no, and then "gentle gentle" and stroke dds skin.

When she was older and more boisterous we made a little game, poem up for her: no biting, no punching, no kickling, only tickling" and then we'd tickle her, and then after the laughs wld talk about how we can hurt people, and that's not nice, and how dd doesn't like it if kids bite/kick/ pinch etc her - this worked very well.

fumanchu Fri 16-Sep-11 14:37:24

My dd bit me when she was about this age and I told her she had to get off my lap and I left the room. I went back a couple of minutes later (she was crying by then) and told her never to do it again. She never did.

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