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How do you get your toddler to share their toys?

(6 Posts)
DoctorX Fri 09-Sep-11 19:48:07

Thanking you all in advance for your replies!

smoggii Fri 09-Sep-11 21:08:27

I'm interested in the answer to this too. My DD isn't quite a toddler yet and is already a little toy thief!!!

Latsia Fri 09-Sep-11 21:15:55

I don't talk about sharing. It means nothing to my DD. Taking turns, however, is more readily accepted because she knows she will have a turn too. So I usually just say "Let X have a turn and then you can have a turn." Has by and large worked quite well although DD usually stands in tense silence until it's her "turn"! smile

petaluma Fri 09-Sep-11 21:24:14

with difficulty, and patience.

Ds was quite early in his possessive phase, and starting using physical force to get other kids off toys he thought were his and rides like those little bubble cars. He even resorted to trying to bat other children in supermarket trolleys as he clearly thought, they were his too! It was stressful, exhausting and I even started avoiding playgroups and inviting other kids and their mums over because I'd end up spending the whole time pulling him off and apologising.

He is 24months now and so much better. He still has his off days but I no longer have to be police helicopter mum and it is wondrous to see how nicely he plays with two of his boy mates - they run around, squealing at each other now, whereas not so long ago, they would be locked in physical combat.

I don't think I did anything special other than be really consistent, determined and patient in the way I dealt with him. He now understands taking turns more than sharing, but also the art of the apology - which is vital too.

Sleepglorioussleep Sat 10-Sep-11 06:29:55

The thing about sharing that worked for us was making sure dd and subsequently ds had a decent turn at whatever they were playing with. Often at toddler groups children were being made to give up the toy really quickly. My "script" is "x would like a turn when you've finished" and very often they will immediately give up the toy. The pressure is off because they can keep the toy until done. And there isn't a potential conflict to rise to. I also try to empathise with them. As adults we don't often have to share our special things and usually it's on our terms if we do. I imagine my new top or whatever and someone saying they want to borrow it. That helped when dd or ds were unwilling to share toys when friends came round. Fwiw, ds, 2.10 is happy to share and I have used that approach from the off. Dd less so at nearly 6 and I took my time to move from enforced sharing.

DoctorX Sat 10-Sep-11 08:57:46

Thanks guys - this is very sound advice. I suppose the request 'to share' a toy with another child is very vague. The toddler is thinking: what does this mean? Does this mean I give up the toy altogether? On the contrary, the request to take turns gives the child a good sense of what's happening.

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