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please help, my little boy isnt himself and its breaking my heart ),:

(10 Posts)
lydiathetattooedlady Fri 09-Sep-11 10:17:41

Thank you for even looking at this as it may be long!

DS is 2.2years, in the past 10 ish days he has gone from being a happy, out going, playful, potty trained mummys boy to a very quiet tearful little boy who is having so many accidents we're runnign out of clother faster than we can wash them.

The toilet training is the least of my worries, but he hasbeen dry since the begginning of july. He wasnt pushed in to toilet training, he saw his sister (4) using the loo and was asking to use it so thought why not. As i said above he's been dry since beginning of july, during the day and night, but in this last week he is having 3/4 accidents a day and is needing nappies at night again. His nursery are being really good as they know he is dry so are going to re-introduce a potty rather taking him to the toilet.

My main concern is his behaviour. He is so tearful, not whinging but quietly crying IYSWIM? I took him to the toilet this morning and as i was bringing him downstairs i could just see little tears rolling down his face, it was so sad. I tried asking him what was wrong but just kept asking me to cuddle him, which obviously i did whist trying not to cry myself!
Previously he has loved nursery and has been going since he was 8 months. Now he doesnt seem as excited to go and is very clingy and cries. One of the staff who has been in with him most days since he's started has noticed he has become quite clingy to her wanting to cuddle and following her around.

He just seems so sad and i dont know how to make it better. I am putting it down to their being some changes to what he's used to, his sister has just started school. She used to be with him at nursery, she was in an older room but they would often play together when they were all outside. He has also gone from 3 days to 4.5 days.

I feel like an awful mother as DD was with me until she was 3 and started nursery and i worry my son is feeling abandoned and unloved, and that im wrong to put him in nursery. I run my own business and in theory he could come with me, which he used to do on 2 days, but at his age i cant get anything done and he was pulling everything off the shelves and generally being a normal 2 year old. I was finding myself getting cross with him, even though i know its not his fault as he was obviously bored.

Any advice very greatfully recieved x

lydiathetattooedlady Fri 09-Sep-11 10:18:06

sorry for spelling mistakes and typos x

MedicalEd Fri 09-Sep-11 13:03:12

I know nothing of two-year-olds (my DD is only six months) but could something have happened at nursery? Like getting bullied?

Bunbaker Fri 09-Sep-11 13:08:28

It could be a urine infection. If he isn't feeling well he will be clingy. I would get a sample to the doctor just to rule it out as untreated urine infections have serious implications.

needadvicefast Fri 09-Sep-11 14:32:19

rule out urine infection definitely. Maybe something has frightened him at nursery? Get them to keep a very careful eye on him, I would also be worried about him being bullied at nursery. Hope he improves soon, sounds very upsetting.

DeWe Fri 09-Sep-11 16:44:36

Ds (4yo) recently wet the bed every night for a week having almost never wet the bed and certainly not for a year. Took him to the doctor who found he had a slight infection of the foreskin and gave canisten. He hasn't wet the bed since.

mrszimmerman Fri 09-Sep-11 17:28:38

I would have thought the loss of big sis and other changed are the most likely if there's no infection.
I think a loving robust response is best, if he senses that you are crucified by his distress he may be shrewd enough to learn to show distress to influence your behaviour.
I understand your feelings and whenever I have a problem like this I go dd's former cm who's a grand mother, a former nursery nurse. She's worked in all child care settings, has seen it all, good and bad and has the range of t shirts.
CMs are great at cutting through parental guilt and seeing childcare settings clearly without emotion. I would find someone wise like this and talk to them about it. I now believe you need years of experience to see the wood for the trees when it comes to behaviour at this age. It may be you could change his childcare to a cm and see if that suits him better?
But don't feel guilty, any woman who works in my opinion is heroic, it is a massive challenge and he will benefit enormously, don't feel guilty either.
Be strong and loving and have faith in him and yourself. They do get down and that's part of life, you needn't worry, all these things will pass. It's very easy for them to pick up on our stress and then it gets worse. Do what you need to do to really relax, alcohol, massage, swimming exercise and then do what he loves best this week end and stay strong loving and happy in front of him and he'll get stronger and happier, he'll end up thinking life is good because mummy is so strong!
all the best.

lydiathetattooedlady Fri 09-Sep-11 20:08:46

Thank you so much for your replies! i had a quick look at them before i left work and saw the suggestionfor a urine test so managed to get himbooked in monday! Its funny because tonight on the toilet he said 'my willy hurts' so maybe thats it!?
Bullying is an interesting one, but im pretty sure id be made aware of this as it is a small nursery and they seem very vigilant on that. One little boy had a thing for my dd, kept pushing/pinching/poking, which they made sure i was aware of and were very good with dealing with it!
Thankl you for not making me feel like an evil working mum x x

brambleschooks Sun 11-Sep-11 21:40:45

I've answered on your other thread, might he have thrush on his willy? My son did as his high blood sugars triggered it. Hope it's as simple as a uti.

gingergirl30 Tue 13-Sep-11 13:12:01

How did it go on Monday Lydiathetattooedlady? Keep thinking about your little boy - hope he and you are OK?!

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