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Tv before bedtime woes

(8 Posts)
fishandlilacs Mon 05-Sep-11 19:08:31

DD is 4, ever since she has been old enough she has been allowed to watch cbeebies after dinner 6pm up til bedtime. 7pm. Whoever is doing the bedtime usually sits with her and we have cuddles and chats til it's over, while the other cleans down the kitchen and loads the dishwasher

We hear the bed time story then go to bed-every other day that means a bath or a wash, a story, cuddle, then sleep. Somedays she goes straight off others we hear her til about 8pm singing quietly in her bed.

Recently we have done all of this as usual but she has started being really agressive when it's time to turn the telly off-she's not tantrumming as in screaming and crying this is more of a premeditated aggressive act such as hitting out, pushing or kicking. Suprisingly she seems to think this is funny, she is never particularly angry.

We either distract or tell her stop, but it usually ends up in a time out because she doesn't listen to the warning and does it again-but this seems to be what she wants. Almost because it delays bedtime. It's horrible, it's been spoiling the end of lovely evening cuddles and it becoming a real chore. She very quickly stops and goes to bed once the time out is done but it invariably means that either dh or myself ends up stressed putting her to bed. Time out seems a pointless punishment in this case. No matter what alternative we offer the outcome is the same so theres no point trying to turn the telly off earlier and say do a jigsaw or something. She still wants her bedtime telly.

My idea is to talk to her tomorrow and tell her that if she plays up when it's time to turn the telly off there will be a telly ban for the following night.

CocktailQueen Mon 05-Sep-11 19:41:22

Yep, agree with a telly ban.

I think it's quite a long time for a LOL to watch tv anyway and if mine are tired at the end of the day, watching tv can make their behaviour worse.

WoofToYouTooLady Mon 05-Sep-11 19:46:10

yy delaying actual bedtime seems to be her aim (and why not, to her, a child, she doesn't want each lovely day to end, awwwwwwwww)

have a little think about the bedtime routine: could you do bath/wash, teeth, THEN telly/story/sleep (with no-messing rule) it's tricky but do-able

the dishes can wait til after, certainly in the short term whilst you are re-jigging bedtime

FelixCited Mon 05-Sep-11 20:08:18

I would be tempted to ban her tomorrow night but record the programmes she would have watched.

Then on weds start to watch the pre-recorded shows earlier and perhaps just watch the 30 mins before the bedtime story. Thus moving the bedtime routine forward giving more time for bath/story wind down. Perhaps she needs longer between tv and sleep, does she seem too hyped up? And if she kicks off no tv the next night.

Does this make sense?!
hope so, good luck smile

mumfromspace Mon 05-Sep-11 21:06:12

Agree with Felix, take the tv away, brace yourself for the fallout then see if it changes the next day. You'll probably feel like a horrible person but sometimes you just got to do it!! Good luck!! Xx

fishandlilacs Mon 05-Sep-11 21:40:47

Thank you all, given unlimited acces to the television, she would seriously watch it all day. Her dad is a total telly head too, I guess she gets it from him. I am constantly battling with him to stop turning it on the minute he gets in. If I have a lie in on a saturday or sunday he will watch cartoon with her for hours!

I'm hoping this will change soon, school starts next week. Were going to have to rejig the entire routine anyway.

I think I am going to put the wheels in motion tomorrow-she normally has a half hour of television in the morning while i'm getting showered and dressed and she often plays up when it's time to turn that off too. I am going to try setting the oven timer for when telly time comes to and end and get her to understand that any playing up is unacceptable.

Do you think I should reward her with something if she manages not to play up? DVd night on a friday or something? she's only just 4 so I'm not sure if she'll be able to remember whats expected of her over the space of a week.

FelixCited Mon 05-Sep-11 21:58:19

Hi, no I think the reward should be being allowed to watch it the next night perhaps I am just mean ;)

She needs to understand that 'after x' we will turn the tv off and that is what happens in mummy and daddy's house-- no matter how disappointing it may be!

Could she watch a DVD instead - they have a definite cut off point, lost & found and grufflo are 30 mins and my boy loves them, then she won't see the tempting spoiler for the next tv show & get upset.

Good luck and I hope she enjoys her new school year smile

mumfromspace Thu 08-Sep-11 16:39:53

How did you get on? X

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