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How do I help DS deal with bullies?

(3 Posts)
kid Mon 05-Sep-11 19:01:31

Its driving me mad and I don't really know how to help him.

DS is 9 and it started off with him falling out with one child that lives a few doors away. It escalated and resulted in that boy getting five other boys to side with him and be rude to DS. They threaten to beat him up but haven't really done anything. There was one occasion a few months ago when 3 of them hurt DS. One held him down while the other 2 punched him in the stomach winding him. I went to their house that time, one mum (to brothers) said she'd beat her children for doing it and that she was very sorry. The other mum told me that I think DS is such an angel but he's not. (That is the 'leaders' mum.)

I would prefer to not let DS play out when those particular boys are out but thats not fair on him seeing as he hasn't actually done anything wrong.

He did try and stand up to them and punched one (the biggest) but ended up with a broken hand sad It didn't even deter them as their 'gang' has got bigger and meaner since.

I often watch discreetly from the window when he is out but thats not the answer to the problem either.
The boy that is causing the most problem is almost 13. I'm hoping he will get bored of it soon and start going round friends houses after school, but so far, no such luck.

He isn't my PFB grin, he is usually such a tough little cookie but hasn't managed to resolve this himself since it started at the beginning of the year.
I'm guessing I'm making it worse by commenting on what a nasty little boy X is, but I can't help it sometimes!

I'd really appreciate any advice as I don't know how to deal with it.
I have considered going to the HA and letting them know that one of their tenants is failing to keep their child under control but I don't feel its reached that stage yet. It is making DS unhappy though and thats not fair on him.

Sorry for the long post,
TIA

pranma Mon 05-Sep-11 22:21:24

i think that if a 13 yr old is bullying a 9 year old then the younger child needs major support from you.You say his hand was broken-was that by the force of the punch he gave or by the other boy?If it was me I would go to the police and ask if a community support officer could speak to the bullies.I would also intervene every single time I saw something starting.Go out there and say,'He is 9 you are 13-go and play with people your own age.'To the mum I would emphasise the age difference and say that 'angel' or not my son deserved to be able to play out without being in fear.Good Luck and stick at it.

kid Tue 06-Sep-11 15:55:51

Thanks pranma
his hand was broken by the force of the punch so I couldn't really take any action and I didn't tell DS off as he was trying to defend himself. Shame it backfired on him though.

I like the idea of confronting them and telling them to go bully someone else.
Last night, there were 8 of them hanging about by my house. DS was too scared to leave the garden so played there with 2 of his friends. I was watching from the window but there only stared at them constantly and kept walking past but not saying anything. There us no law against that so I left it but if it keeps happening, I'll have to say something.

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