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Doesn't like mummy talking

(6 Posts)
britflick Sat 03-Sep-11 23:30:41

Has anyone else experienced this? My 2 1/2 year old DS tells me to stop talking everytime I talk to another mum at playgroup. He also tells me to stop talking to his dad sometimes too. It's not as if I talk a lot! He gets loads of attention, so I'm assuming this is a jealousy thing. Not sure how to deal with this now. I have explained that i'm just chatting to someone, making friends etc. But this doesn't work. Have tried ignoring him, but he just screams at me to stop. Any advice much appreciated.

isitmidnightalready Sun 04-Sep-11 03:11:10

Don't give in to him would be my first advice. Turn and tell him that you are talking and will talk to him in two minutes when you have finished. Holding out a hand or finger between you when he is trying to interrupt shows that it is not yet his turn. And if he is really in trouble and needs your attention and can't wait, then he has to say excuse me. But it has to be for something very serious and only rarely. He has to know thatheis important but that other people and you are also important, and he is not always the first person.

Good luck..

Tee2072 Sun 04-Sep-11 07:45:15

Well, then he's going to be unhappy a lot, won't he? 'Mummy is talking, I'm sorry if that upsets you, but I am not going to stop talking'.

I don't agree with the finger or hand up as I find that to be rude and wouldn't want that done to me.

belindarose Sun 04-Sep-11 07:52:18

Yes, my just two year old is constantly trying to tell me who not to talk to (usually daddy!). God forbid if he tries to touch me! We don't give into her of course, but she gets lots of lovely attention the rest of the time. Must be a normal toddler controlling thing!

Grumpla Sun 04-Sep-11 07:57:39

Blimey! I wouldn't include the word "sorry" in your explanation. I would also have some consequences in there e.g. "mummy is talking. Wait nicely / play with this until I am finished or..." naughty step / move pram away / no treat etc.

Does he do it when anyone else is talking or is it just you? It's a really really bad habit to get into as once he is in school etc he will start getting told off. My friend's Ds went trough a similar stage at about 4/5 and she had to be absolutely RUTHLESS about it as when he did the same thing at school he used to get told off by his teacher which really upset him. She used to do lots of praising when he did wait / say excuse me etc which at the time I thought was a bit odd / OTT (ha! Childless naïveté!) but now I can see was a really effective tactic.

nearlytherenow Sun 04-Sep-11 20:58:58

Yes! I thought I was the only one. 3.0 year old DS has done this for about 6 months. Sometimes it's horribly embarrasing - if I ignore him he gets louder and louder, and will shout things like "Mummy don't talk to that lady [even if "that lady" is someone he knows well]. I do NOT LIKE that lady. I am FRIGHTENED of that lady. Mummy, please ONLY TALK TO DS" etc etc. When it's bad it makes it almost impossible to have a conversation. He does this with my friends, random people in the street, waitresses, people on the tills in shops, the doctor, health visitor etc, and sometimes even his father and grandparents.

To be honest, this has been my biggest parenting challenge to date. It was so bad at one point that we just stopped going places / having people over, and I started to feel quite cut off. Fortunately he is much much better now - we've been out for coffee and lunch today, and round at friends this afternoon, and he hasn't made a fuss once.

What I found made a big difference was encouraging him to interact with people we met. So in shops, I now ask him if he wants to pay, and let him talk to the person on the checkout, or order his own drink in a cafe etc. With friends I try to include him in the conversation, so e.g. I will say "DS, can you tell Xs mummy what we did yesterday?".

I do appreciate that this might be a bit wearing for the person we are talking to - obviously this means that it's still hard to have 'adult' conversations, and I am well aware that we need to move him on to the "not interrupting" stage. But for me it was just so awful that anything was better than a public screaming tantrum (which is where we would have been if I just ignored him). For us it also coincided with the arrival of DS2 and a couple of other traumatic (in toddler terms) life events, so I didn't want to be too harsh on him - it was obvious why he suddenly felt the need for undivided attention.

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