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What sanctions do you use with your 3-4 year olds.

(4 Posts)
MogandMe Mon 29-Aug-11 22:02:16

Just wondering what sanctions others use with their 3-4 year olds. Time out doesn't seem to be working and DC 3.10's behaviour seems to be getting worse.

I need an overhaul of sanctions. So what works in your house?

wompoopigeon Mon 29-Aug-11 22:09:23

Ignoring. Just doing something extremely boring while repeating in a dull monotone with no eye contact "I am not talking to you until you xxx". This has to be coupled with over the top lavish attention when they finally cave in.
I do most of my cleaning when ignoring DD screaming. It's a bit stressful but as I can't physically move her (eg to a "naughty chair") and I don't smack, it's about the only option going.

MsMarple Mon 29-Aug-11 22:22:01

What kind of things does he do?

Never tried time out, but if asking nicely doesn't work I say something like:

If you do that once more: I will take it away and put it in the loft/there will be no more television at all today/I will give all your Thomas pasta shapes to the charity shop/Daddy will eat all your ice-cream etc.

If I get the right matter-of-fact-calm-but-deadly-serious tone then he usually listens and sees I mean business, and if he doesn't I get on and do what I said I would. Even though inside I am crying for 10 minutes blissful peace in front of Octonauts!

Another option, if you have time, is to distract them from destructive behaviour with something different. EG Shall we play that game together? Do you want to help me do...? This also sometimes works for me. But I see this option is not much help if he is playing up when you are in the middle of making dinner with sharp knives and boiling pans!

thecaptaincrocfamily Mon 29-Aug-11 22:41:35

Before looking at sanctions I would suggest positive reinforcement and praise for the good behaviour and ignore the bad when possible. I use the counting to five and then time out method because it gives them fair warning of what will happen. I don't take toys away/ put in bedroom generally/ they forget it has gone after a day or so anyway! Don't use the bedroom for time out as it should be a place they enjoy going. I think lots of us forget to give praise when it is deserved hmm and when they are behaving we may not give them attention. They misbehave usually for attention, due to boredom or as a result of diet i.e. aspartame in low sugar drinks, colourings and other additives. High sugar diet leads to fizz and then crash -tantrums. Low sugar diet with slow burning carbs as snacks can help i.e. banana, toast and breadsticks. Do a food diary to check this.

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