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WWYD, please help!

(6 Posts)
tryingtobemarypoppins2 Sat 27-Aug-11 19:36:45

Tonight, DS 3 1/2, has had a terrible tantrum, out of nowhere. He was tired and had been grumpy all day.

After being scratching younger DS several times, and thinking it was ok as long as he said sorry each time, I said enough was enough, and put him on the naughty step.

At this point, he throw the step. I said that was unexceptable and sat him on the floor. He then started kicking and scratching me, I moved away and he came up to me and did it again. At this point I picked him up and started to take him upstairs to his room.

The only thing he could then whilst in my arms was was bite me and dig his nails in sad It was terrible. sad

Once in his room he cried and cried and said sorry over and over. DH came home after I called him upset and gave him a good talking too, he stayed in his room and went to sleep sad

Could I have done anything better? WWYD?? Is this normal?? I think this is the 2nd time now we have had an outburst like this sad

Octaviapink Sat 27-Aug-11 19:44:17

If he was tired and grumpy all day I think you could cut him a bit of slack. Sounds like he couldn't really control himself, and IME it's better to be understand-y than punish-y at those times - it scares them when they can't control themselves. You can help him identify his feelings by helping him put names to them - "I understand you're feeling grumpy today - it's because you're tired. We'll have a quiet day and maybe read some books." - or similar

tryingtobemarypoppins2 Sat 27-Aug-11 20:35:51

It was quite extreem......

ballstoit Sat 27-Aug-11 20:49:09

The frustration is understandable and quite normal for his age. Wherever you can, try to distract when he's struggling. How old is younger DS? Is DS1 generally ok with him? Jealousy can flair up at different points, especially when they're feeling tired and grumpy anyway.

It's good that you are showing united front with DH, but also important to remember that the behaviour that gets attention is the behaviour that increases. So, if when he's naughty, daddy spends a long time talking to him, this could make him behave badly (kids are strange confused). In the same way, if you don't praise him when he's being good (or being calm on a day like today), he'll find the stuff that grabs you - scratching his little brother gets your attention very quickly I guess.

We all have bad days, it's great that you're thinking about what happened and how you could react differently next time. have a cuppa and relax safe in the knowledge that you're doing your best.

tryingtobemarypoppins2 Sat 27-Aug-11 21:23:58

What a wonderful post - thank you so much.
New day tomorrow and all that.

He just seems to get over the top with his baby brother and over hugs, gets in his space, pokes etc. I feel for our younger son sad He is at the age where he wants to join in with his brother.....but it always ends in tears. (age 1 and 3)

I think it was just so sad tonight because he didn't want to hurt me.....he just didn't know what to do.......I can almost remember feeling like that when I was younger.

I am just wondering if when/if this happens again and time out leads to this what is the best thing to do??

ballstoit Sat 27-Aug-11 21:40:03

DD1 used to be very frustrated (middle child, hearing problems which led to speech probs, and very adorable little sister)...sometimes I found that picking her up and holding her quite firmly, just ssshhhing quietly was the best approach. Or would go in the garden, she'd usually follow and would throw ball/jump on trampoline.

I avoid time out if I can...try to tickle or distract them out. If I think time out is really the best way forward then I try to time myself out by saying 'I feel cross that you have ....., I'm not going to talk to you or play with you for a few minutes'. Then walk away (taking baby with me, if need to). If they follow, I stand quietly with my back to them. I really try to avoid a physical battle, I know I don't like to be touched if I'm very angry, and sympathise with the DC feeling the same.

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