Advice please...almost 5 year year old saying awful things

[julesgee]

I need some advice please. I am sat here stunned and shocked and wondering what to do.

My DD is almost 5,( she isn't at full time school) she had always been quite emotional and easily goes from being in a relatively normal happy mood to one of extreme rage. She says things like she doesn't like me, she want me to go away or she is going to live some-where else. She part seems to know what to say to hurt me and also doesn't always seem in control of her-self, she just flips.

Tonight, she had a melt down over going to bed, she raged for a while, I kept calm and let her rage for 5 mins, ignoring her before saying it was bedtime and taking her by the hand upstairs.

In her bedroon she turned on me with pure hate in her eyes and said...I don't like you Mummy, I want to get a knife and kill you until you are dead.

I am reeling with shock, I just had to leave the room and leave DH to deal with her. Where have we gone wrong? what did I do wrong? Why? How? Is it normal?

What can we do to help her? and us?

Thanks for any suggestions or help

[cjbartlett]

Has she been watching things on tv that have a lot of fighting in
I've noticed my pair get more aggressive after watching crap like Ben 10
So I sometimes change it to milkshake on c5 for this reason

[julesgee]

I am thinking she may have. I have been in hospital and laid up for a few weeks and the in-laws and DH have taken over the majority of childcare. I think she may have been watching more TV than normal.

Maybe I have over reacted and this is just a phase ( too much TV and changes over the past few weeks)

[Pamplemoussse]

I am sorry you have been unwell

She is possibly lashing out as she can't really articulate her anxiety at you being in hosp etc

[LoonyRationalist]

Sounds to me like she is reacting against the upheaval that has been going on over the last few days. Be gentle with her. She is saying these things because they get a reaction & attention, not because she means them.
Spend time focused on her, do some things she really loves to do & give her some time. With some nurturing she will hopefully stop the attention grabbing.

[julesgee]

Absolutely, you are both right Looney and Pample.

It was the first time I have managed to take her to bed in a while so it upset me when she lashed out.

Poor kid, I now feel very guilty for being ill. It must be so hard for her, I am a SAHM at the moment and she is used to us spending all of our time together. I am not really well enough at the moment to do too much with her but can def manage some story telling and craft/colouring now I'm home.

Thanks

[LoonyRationalist]

Hope you feel better soon, don't beat yourself up about it, illness is not your fault & it is clear she is well attached & secure with you hence her behaviour. Snuggling, stories & craft sound like an excellent plan :)

Hope you feel better soon x

[julesgee]

Thanks Loony
you made me start snivelling all over again ( in a good way), wahhhhh