why will my son not sleep even when we bring him in the bed

[celestine6735]

He's 16 months old and he has never really knowingly slept in his cot either i have rocked him to sleep then put him in or else left him in the bed then transfered him to his cot, he always woke up at like 5 am and we brought him into the bed and that was ok.
Lately he wakes continually all through the night, I put him asleep at 9pm and he drifts off really quickly, I rock him for a few minutes sing a few songs then put him in his cot. At about 11 he,ll start to cry, i give him the dummy and he'll drift off but he wont settle, hell wake again and again and eventually i'll bring him in the bed. Sometimes he'll sleep but usually has fits of screaming when i try to lie him down ect and can take around 2 hours before he tires himslef out and falls asleep.
What am i doing/not doing he was fine until 6 weeks ago once he was off he was asleep until early morning, but now its just so frustrating i dread bedtimes

[triskaidekaphile]

God, sounds like a nightmare. Have you considered c

[Iggly]

He sounds like he could be overtired - the less sleep he gets, the harder it is to fall asleep at night and the worse that night sleep gets.

Have you tried putting him to bed at 7? It sounds radical but after a short bedtime routine (20 mins max, including bath), it could work. I'd try it for a week to see any difference. It won't make him wake earlier - DS at that age was in bed by 7, up by 6. Plus two naps - morning and after lunch.

What is his day routine like?

[didldidi]

because he's not been taught how to settle himself to sleep.

[celestine6735]

wakes at between 8 am - 10 am and will have one nap in the afternoon usually between 12.30 - 2.00 depending on what time he slept and then put him to bed for the night at 9, hell fall asleep after about 10 minutes

[Gincognito]

Hi, have you read The Wonder Weeks? Not worth buying it now but they have a website/app you should look at. Basically according to this your son is undergoing a major cognitive leap which will bugger up his sleep for a bit, and also make him more clingy, cranky and cry-y than usual. Does that ring any bells? I've found it incredibly accurate with my ds.

I make your ds 70 weeks old, which would be just at the start of the "systems" leap. However, I suspect that he is either 16 months plus a bit, or was overdue when he was born as he sounds like he's actually right in the thick of it.

[Nagoo]

I'd move bedtime way forward. 9pm seems very late indeed. I'd second the opinion of overtired.

[triskaidekaphile]

Sorry! My phone posted before I'd said anything. I was going to suggest bringing bedtime forward too. :)

[MonAmiLeSinge]

I could have written the OP. My DS is 14 and a bit months and was in a perfect routine of bed at 8, although I always stayed with him to he fell asleep, and then woke early (4 or 5) and we put him in our bed. That waking gradually got earlier and now he wakes any time between 11 and 2 and won't go back to sleep even in our bed. Plus he's also now a nightmare to put to bed. Last night I finally got him down at 11. I'm exhausted from the middle of the night waking as I have to go to work in the morning but I just can't leave him to cry - he would scream the house down.

Let me know if anything works for you.

[Gincognito]

MonAmi, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, 61/62 weeks is also slap bang in the middle of a major cognitive leap. I really, really cannot recommend The Wonder Weeks enough, and I promise I don't work for them!

[MonAmiLeSinge]

Thanks Gin, I've been checking out the website. Is week 61/62 Mental Leap 9 "From Theatricism to Temper Tantrums"? There's certainly been a lot of tantrums which I'd put down to being overtired.

[oldmum42]

A radio left on low volume (Radio4 as it's all talk), might work wonders - when DC drifts in and out of sleep during the night, the soft voices are reassuring.

[Gincognito]

MonAmi, yes it's that one!