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Extreme behaviour since starting nursery

(4 Posts)
idag Mon 22-Aug-11 23:57:31

Hi, looking for some advice please.

My 2.3yr old DD started part time nursery (2 mornings per week) 3 weeks ago. She went everyday for a couple of hours for the first week and then started properly last week. She cries before we leave the house, all the way there and up until I hand her over to one of the staff. She does stop crying as soon as I am out of sight and during the morning she occassionally plays but whenever I go back for a peek without her seeing me she seems to be just trailing around after one of the staff, not happy, just looking lost and confused. When I pick her up she is initially sullen and keen to go but then back to her normal self on the way home.

Since the day we started her behaviour at home has changed dramatically and I am not sure if this attributable to nursery or just being 2- she has major tantrums about brushing her teeth, washing her hair, going to bed, anything. The involve screaming until she is almost choking. She just seems so unhappy about everything and whenever we mention nursery in a positive way she just shakes her head and says no.

I am expecting a 2nd child in 6 weeks and was hoping that she would be settled at nursery before the birth but she seems to be getting worse and with the arrival I imagine she will only get more insecure and unhappy about nursery. I know it is only 2 mornings a week but this has become such a big deal, I dread her nursery days as I know I am making her unhappy.

Does anyone else have experience of this and any advice? I'm not sure whether it is best to persevere or take her out and try again when things have settled after the new baby comes, maybe in the new year.

Sorry for the rambling post, and thanks for any replies x

plantsitter Tue 23-Aug-11 14:59:25

Honestly, I would give it another couple of weeks and then take her out if she's not happy.

DD1 wasn't really happy going to the childminder who'd she'd known since she was 9 months when DD2 was born (DD1 was 21 months then), so I can't imagine things improving then.

As to the other behaviour - she will also be aware that the baby's coming I should think (although she won't really know the full implication of it; just that something's up).

I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear - every child is different and if you keep upbeat and positive about nursery she might settle in in a week or so.

idag Tue 23-Aug-11 17:28:28

Thanks Plantsitter for your helpful reply. I think lots of people would say she just needs to get used to it but I am not working and while it will be more tiring of course with a toddler and a newborn full-time, I think i will just have to get on with it as I think I have missed the boat in terms of getting her properly settled at nursery before the new arrival. xx

BlueArmyGirl Tue 23-Aug-11 21:13:41

IME, it's usually easier when they're tiny babies or pre-schoolers (3+) to get them to settle more quickly when starting nursery. Settling is also hard when young ones only do a couple of sessions per week. Not that that is intended to criticise your choices but just to perhaps add another dimension as to why it might not be going quite as well as hoped smile

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