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One shy DD and one "Performing" DD...jealousy and how to deal?

(3 Posts)
MumblingRagDoll Sun 21-Aug-11 21:32:04

DD1 is just 7 and I think she's quite immature in some ways but she is very bright academically. She is shy with adults and can also be self consious but mixes well with peers...no trouble with frends etc...seems popular at school.

Her sister is 3 and a half and often performs for attention...she'll do a dance or sing or whatever....not when she''s told to or anything...it''s just her personality and it's usually spontaneous.

We are careful to encourage both girls and to tell them how we admire them etc....but when DD2 is doing her thing and commanding the room...DD1 will neither join in nor allow her to take the attention.

Today she kicked DD1 in the leg because she was dancing and we were appluading.

I sent DD2 out and gave her a talking to...she wouldn't' say sorry to DD2 (who took it very well and never cried but carried on dancing regardless)

I dont' know why she acts like this...we always flatter DD1 about her gifts or if she DOES ever sing or dance etc...we give equal atention at bedtime...special one to one time...what can I do?

Every time DD2 tries to take centre stage DD1 won't let her but ruins the moment.

AKMD Sun 21-Aug-11 22:12:16

That must be rather frustrating for you. Maybe it would be worth investigating pre-school dance and/or drama classes for DD2 and ask DD1 which class she would really love to do so that it 'formalises' their interests i.e. when DD2 starts dancing, she is showing off what she learned at her dance class, then DD1 can show off what she learned at whichever class she wanted to do.

MumblingRagDoll Mon 22-Aug-11 09:35:55

Well DD2 already does gymnastics which she loves....I will be starting DD1 in dance when she's 4...DD1 wont show off her gymnsticks at all...she loves her class but never shows us.

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