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Issues with DS, 7, or issues with me?!

(8 Posts)
zephyrcat Sat 20-Aug-11 14:43:16

My DS is 7.2 and has always seemed, to me, to be very 'young for his age'. He is the second child of four, and has 3 sisters. One is elder and two are younger than him. My eldest daughter has always been very mature, level headed and sensible so I dismissed my initial concerns about DS because I thought I may have been expecting him to be like DD1.
When he was leaving pre-school to begin reception I was tempted to hold him back a year because I felt he just wasn't ready. He started with the rest of his peers and everything was fine.

Because he is the only boy, I have nothing to compare his behaviour to so am hoping that fellow parents will come to the rescue on this one!

He seems to be very immature - even in comparison to his younger sisters. He is often away in a dreamland and his listening skills aren't the best. When he plays he's very much rolling around on the floor making silly noises. He speaks in silly voices much of the time and will make horrible comments to his younger sisters almost everytime they speak...but in a really fast put-on voice.

I'm actually finding this harder than I thought to explain - I'm assuming it will sound like he is just a boy being a boy, but my instinct keeps telling me there's something not quite right. He isn't naughty, or spiteful, but still very hard work. As an example he will walk across the coffee table, or climb over the back of the sofas regardless of being told countless times not to, and doesn't seem to care in the slightest.

He is difficult at mealtimes and will lose his temper over the smallest thing like who is sitting next to him or having something wrong on his plate. He's a fussy eater and if you give him something he doesn't like he'll immediately fold his arms and fall on the floor or walk away from the table.

His year 2 teacher thinks the world of him and from her accounts he is a different child in school. He is a very sensitive lad, and when you get through to him he is such a lovely boy.

Maybe I am reading too much into it and he is just a typical 7 year old boy?

talkingnonsense Sat 20-Aug-11 15:00:53

Well I only have boys, and certainly 7 yr old boys can be a mystery to their mothers. It's great he is fine at school, but I would say not good that he climbs on furniture etc, is he getting plenty of exercise? It often seems to me that boys need walking, like dogs! And he may need other boys to play with, especially if he is " boyish " and his sisters are "girly". But also trust your insticpncts, talk to his dad, his next teacher, etc, just in case.

rnmum Sun 21-Aug-11 13:04:24

my eldest boy is coming up for 7 and whilst not in dreamland - he contantly fights and argues with his younger brother (4). He also does very well in school and is a pleasing pupil. It is just a different story at home - he is ultra sensitve to any comments and at the moment wants to eat me out of house and home?? Any ideas for controlling the eating issue?

ragged Sun 21-Aug-11 16:57:17

If his teachers think he's alright then he's alright. It all sounds "within the normal spectrum" stuff to me. He's just more stroppy & willful than the girls, I suggest. Look at that energy as a positive, if he can channel his willpower to his advantage it will take him far in life.

BlueArmyGirl Sun 21-Aug-11 18:11:26

My 10 yo is still a bit like this - minus the food thing. He slouches on the sofa as a matter of course (despite being asked to sit up, he niggles his younger sister constanly - and is often more imature than she is! - he doesn't seem to get my logic i.e. as you're going upstairs for a shower why not take the stuff with you that needs to be put away, instead of coming back down for it later?

At times he drives me insane!!! I think I just don't get boys When he's lovely he's lovely, when he's being silly...argh!!

I've noticed things seem to go in phases, although these little 'irritations' are often there - whether he's in a more or less mature phase grin Sorry, not much help.

BlueArmyGirl Sun 21-Aug-11 18:14:21

I forgot to say, I have wondered on and off whether he has issues with listening, processing and/or planning but these come and go so I've decided not to explore this (they don't have any particular concerns about him at school). I worry that maybe my expectations are the issue rather than anything being amiss with him.

lingle Sun 21-Aug-11 19:10:39

how tricky, the whole boy in a family of grown-up-girls thing must make it really hard to judge.

I wonder whether he's forced, as someone who's immature for his own birth month, which happens to be in summer (so a double whammy for you there) to perform at the very edge/peak of his abilities at school all day so lets it all out at home?

create Sun 21-Aug-11 19:30:22

It does, as you say, all sound fairly usual to me (2 DSs 8 & 10) but I had a similar feeling with DS1. He just seems a bit "different".

I worried about it for ages while everyone else told me a was worrying too much. In the end I wrote a letter to our GP. I didn't want to make an appointment and sit there in front of DS1 telling Dr about what was "wrong" with DS. The GP phoned me, we had a long chat and he refered us to a Peadatician without even seeing DS!

The Peadiatrician didn't find much wrong, so I had mostly been worring over nothing, but he does have a minor special need, which was contributing to some of his "issues". It seemed to come as a massive relief to him that it wasn't all his own fault, but he understood that it just meant he had to try harder and everything would be OK. He's done brilliantly this year in school, gone up 3 levels in every subject! Im so glad I wrote that letter and wish I'd done it sooner.

Anyway, the point of that ramble, was that if you think there's something not right, it's worth getting it checked out and maybe a letter/phone call to GP would be a good place to start.

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