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14 month old screams at bedtime

(14 Posts)
Dippy001 Thu 18-Aug-11 10:43:42

My LO has been hysterical at bedtime for the last 4 months. Her bedtime is 7pm and I can see she is ready for bed (rubbing eyes, yawning) but refuses to sleep. She wants to leave her room and if I don't take her out she eventually is sick because she gets so upset.

She has 2 naps in the day with no problem at all but bedtime is a nightmare. She eventually falls asleep at 9/10 pm. I have given her calpol to see if it's teething but the same screaming at bedtime continued.
Is there anyone with experience of this and how did you tackle it?
Fed up mum!

rockandrose Fri 19-Aug-11 19:12:55

I don't know but am bumping for you in the hope someone can help.....

Dippy001 Sat 27-Aug-11 21:36:38

Maybe if I'd used the work FUCK in the title someone would have responded, seems to be the way things work here.

butterflyexperience Sat 27-Aug-11 21:44:53

Rudeness won't help get an answer but will get you attention, prob not the kind you want...

butterflyexperience Sat 27-Aug-11 21:46:58

What's you bedtime routine like?
Have you tried patting her while she falls asleep?
Dummy?
Cosleept?
Need more info please

Cathycat Sat 27-Aug-11 21:53:37

You have my sympathy as ds2 was like this years ago. I am sure that you already have a good, established bedtime routine of bath, lights out, milk and story, etc. (as I did but he was a rebel!). It is long ago now but what about a classical music CD? Or a story / lullaby CD?

Teaandcakeplease Sat 27-Aug-11 22:00:10

Oh my that's sounds really hard for you dippy. My DC2 is a tricky one at bedtime, I now tend to lie with him for a short while until he is very calm and dozy before leaving. As well as the warm milk, bath, story etc. This is what seems to work for him. He likes a night light in his room as well.

I think butterfly is right, we probably need more info to suggest the most appropriate ideas for your situation.

Nattty Sat 27-Aug-11 22:12:59

Totally sympathise. That's why I've logged on - to see if anybody had any suggestions. My 15 month old is a nightmare at bedtime. Slightly my fault as I've always cuddled her to sleep but she turns into the devil itself! Really starting to get me down. Do all the things people suggest - just not working. If i leave her she's sick she screams so much. If I keep going back in she thinks I'm going to take her out and gets more upset when I go again. She won't lie down even to let me rub her back. Nightmare.

Tryharder Sat 27-Aug-11 22:18:06

OK. She's 14 months old and you say she has been screaming for 4 months which means she was 10 months old when she started this behaviour. She's very, very young still - not even a toddler yet really. I think your expectations of her behaviour and what she "should" be doing are very, very high and completely unrealistic.

First of all, I think 2 naps a day for an older baby is too many and you might have more success getting her to sleep earlier if she cut back to one nap a day.

I also have never got any of my 3 to sleep at 7am when they were so young. My DD who is the same age as your DD goes to sleep around 9pm which is the same time as your DD wants to go to sleep. I don't think things like night lights, stories etc really have any great effect at this young age. Mine started going earlier to bed when they were around 2 or so.

Thirdly, if she screams when you put her down, why not lie down with her or cuddle her to sleep? She just wants to be close to you. Please don't leave her to cry - how on earth can that be good for either you or her. My DD goes to sleep either being cuddled or breastfeeding - we are all very relaxed, watching telly or whatever and then she is transferred to her cot where she sleeps through the whole night. No particular routine other than bathtime/feed, no night lights, songs or stories. I know from experience that I am not making a rod for my own back because my older 2 go to bed fine. I know my lack of routine isn't for everyone but I hope this perspective helps. Good luck.

Rubyabcd Sat 27-Aug-11 22:46:11

Oh my God, was just about to post my dd nearly fifteen months has gone to bed at 7pm since she was about three months and has slept through pretty much since then till around 6.30-7.30.

The last week we have had many problems culminating in tonight's fiasco, screaming the place down!! Eventually at 09.30 I laid her on my bed and stroked her head until she fell asleep, then tried to put her in her cot as I was worried she might roll off the bed. Subsequently she woke up and has howled for an hour, dh has just taken over and she has eventually settled and he is now asleep next to her in the spare room. What is going on? She was so upset and inconsolable virtually hyperventilating!!

I am not used to this and quite frankly don't know what to do when she's like this! Is this payback for my months of smugness in having a baby that went to bed so well and got herself to sleep and slept all night!! I love my dd so much but I am not good without sleep and always thought god was looking down on me when he sent me her.

I am also a bit of a panicker so when she is upset which is not often I always worry there is something wrong with her-occupational hazard of being a nurse!

Her back teeth are coming through, she had calpol and calprofen before bed!!

Also dh and I have both been off this week and we've had an action packed week so wondering if she may be overtired or over stimulated if this is possible.

Stressed out tired mum - (Easily stressed person)

Dippy001 Mon 29-Aug-11 22:25:20

Ruby I feel for you. I hope it is just this week as after 4 months you'll be going mental. It started a few weeks after she began going to nursery so I always blame putting her there for messing up her routine.

Her routine is always the same. Bath, milk, book, bed. She has slept like an angel since she was 5 months old, 7-7 no problem. She cannot sleep in bed with me, she cannot sleep on someone unless she is completely exhausted. She plays when she's with someone, it wakes her up even more. Patting stimulates her as well. She gets annoyed that Im' not picking her up. She only goes to sleep in her cot and gets comfort from sucking her thumb. If someone is in the room she either gets upset or plays with whoever it is.

I took her out of her room like she wanted and put her down to play in the sitting room. But she doesn't want to play, she's knackered and grumpy and wants to be held until 9/10 pm.

I have cut down her nap to one a day but she gets tired by 5pm and that makes me think she's now not getting enough sleep. I think if I put her in her cot at 5pm she would happily have a nap. She is now going to sleep at 7pm because I have cut her afternoon nap out. I'll see how it goes as it is early days but I cannot comfort her until 9/10 pm, it is too exhausting.

Teaandcakeplease Tue 30-Aug-11 17:09:18

I think from memory mine still had a nap at 10.30am and 3pm and bed at 7pm. But see how yours go on one nap. I did end using pupd at one stage with mine as it seemed to be the best option. But do what feels right for you and your baby lovely. There are a lot of different ideas sometimes on here. trust your gut instinct for your child. It is just a stage. This too shall pass smile Mine are now 2 & 4 years old.

Rubyabcd Tue 30-Aug-11 17:10:03

Sounds very like my dd, who has pretty much slept 7-7 from about 3/4 months. She also only sleeps in cot, and does not like sleeping anywhere else, she also sucks her thumb.

Last night I did cc, didn't go well. In the end I had to stay in her room until she fell asleep then she slept through, all very weird!!

Teaandcakeplease Tue 30-Aug-11 17:10:06

Ooo typos blush

*end up

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