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Do your toddler listen to you?

(16 Posts)
BoysRusxxx Mon 15-Aug-11 19:29:23

My ds1 is starting to really test boundaries with dp and I. When I ask him not to do something he just doesnt listen until i threaten to take something away from him. Is this the norm for this age?? He is 2.7.

SilveryMoon Mon 15-Aug-11 19:36:30

Perfectly normal.
This phase goes on for years, and if you give in, even once, you have to start again at the beginning!
I found picking my battles useful.
Mine are only 'punished' if they hurt someone else or something belonging to someone else.
Most other things I ignore, because I feel they are doing it for attention.
I overkly praise good behaviour and try not to be too negative of bad, but when I need to tell them what they can't do, I make sure to follow it with something they can do. So i might say "Ds1, chairs aren't for standing on. Chairs are for sitting on"
This is normally enough for him to get down, but he will continue to climb up, but once he started to realise he wasn't going to get too much out of me, it soon started to wear off.

BoysRusxxx Mon 15-Aug-11 20:11:39

We seem to have the same 'dont sweat the small stuff' attitude but i was just starting to doubt myself. Its hard to know what is right and wrong.

Nagoo Mon 15-Aug-11 20:16:21

It gets worse.

DS was quite good. He's 4 now and we've had to do 'counting' for the last 18 months...

please do X.

Do X before I count

1...2...3...

That used to be enough. I didn't know what happened at 5 as I never got there grin

Then we did naughty step if I got to 3.

Now we need a chart as well as he needs an incentive not to disobey me just for kicks.

<looks for the 'children are bastards' thread>

headfairy Mon 15-Aug-11 20:18:17

We do the counting thing too grin I tell ds what the punishment will be if I get to 5, that way he can change his behaviour. I rarely get to five thank goodness!

BoysRusxxx Mon 15-Aug-11 20:34:56

I might start the counting thing. Until now, i have gotten away with just loads of praise for good behavior and a firm no for bad and then distraction.

The distracting works well but hard to keep up if your feeling annoyed...

I think we may be hitting the infamous 'terrible twos'...

Meglet Mon 15-Aug-11 20:43:36

Not usually <deep sigh>.

If I ask 2.11 to come here / pick up X she usually runs away laughing. I have discovered that counting backwards from 5 seems to be more effective with my dc's. Only works half of the time mind you. The rest of the time I end up shouting and rugby tackling her.

DS is 4.9 and off to school in sept, I think he's getting better now.

We also do the 'pasta pot' reward thingy. Cheap plastic cup and they get pasta pieces in it for doing as they're told or doing a 'random act of kindness'. It took weeks to fill up the first pot. They get a little treat once its full up. Doesn't work miracles, but it all helps.

rhetorician Mon 15-Aug-11 22:23:06

um, no, (dd is 2.6); trick is to try and make her think that whatever it is you want her to do is in fact her own brilliant idea. But that's often too much hard work, so threatening to do it for her (cleaning teeth, etc) generally works, and so does counting. But making it a game works best of all (I want her in the bathroom to do pjs and teeth, so we do bunny hops which - surprise! - take us to the bathroom. She will get wise to this in about 2 days time). Repeating also works, but this requires both time and patience which rarely coincide in the universe in my experience.

FrumpyPumpy Mon 15-Aug-11 22:27:54

We do counting too, and this week we've started conga-ing up stairs. All frigging four of us. Just to get him to bed. He's 2.4.

YankNCock Mon 15-Aug-11 22:31:51

Mine hears me but doesn't 'listen'. For instance, I say to him 'don't run away' and then he takes off down the street shouting gleefully 'RUN WAY!'

EllieG Mon 15-Aug-11 22:34:22

My 3 year old only listens to me on a friday because that's chocolate buttons day in our house. All other days she couldn't give a monkeys what I say grin

Mine doesn't listen to me. I have got quite cross with him about it today sad

rhetorician Mon 15-Aug-11 22:36:14

Oh, the joys! Yank my DD is like that too - she really has perfected selective listening...after asking her x times to do something and being totally blanked, I raise my voice, at which point she smiles sweetly and says 'don't shout, mummy, it's not nice' hmm

cherub59 Mon 15-Aug-11 22:38:01

Of course not!

blowthewindsoutherly Mon 15-Aug-11 22:43:42

The only thing that works effectively with my 3.0 year old is this, and i await being told the psychological damage I'm inflicting on her:

"DD1, could you please pick up that toy over there" then when she ignores me "oh, DD1 doesn't know how to pick up that. Toy, oh, I thought DD1 would know how to pick that up, but she doesn't, she can't do it".

That usually prompts a "yes I can and does it"

Or if it's a please get your shoes on now scenario and I've asked 100 times and been ignored I just say "DD2 and I are off to the shop now" and she usually then hurries to do it.

BoysRusxxx Mon 15-Aug-11 22:44:07

Feel so much better now smile

Was starting to think my toddler was turning into a brat but it seems he is just normal!

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