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Behaviour/development

11 Month old being very clingy

8 replies

lisagilsenan · 14/08/2011 22:17

Hi all. My little boy has always been a content baby who would happily play on his own for long periods of time. However in the last few weeks I am finding if I put him down he wants picking back up or as soon as I turn to leave a room he cries and follows me. This also happens when my mother has him and my dad, his father etc. It only happens when you are alone with him. If I take him out say to see his friends, he will happily play all day on his own or with his friends ! (not that I frequently just leave him, please don't take my wording wrongly).

Could you offer advice on what to do to curb this behavior.

I guess I will be told I need to leave him to cry, which I have done, such as times when I am preparing his lunch etc but is there any other suggestions to help me and him through this stage. He has lots of toys etc so it is not boredom, it's just as if all of a sudden he wants to have you interact with him all the time. I don't want to spoil him (if that is the right word) and go to him every time he cries but I also don't want to leave him every time as I want him to know I am there for him.

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AlmaMartyr · 15/08/2011 12:28

I think they often go through a clingy stage at that kind of time as they become more aware of you coming and going. Personally I've always just indulged it as far as I reasonably can - it passes soon enough although it can be a pain.

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lallyp · 15/08/2011 12:28

My dd started doing this yesterday. she is 9.5 months. its driving me nuts and we are on day 2! my ds never did it. i have been reading alot about it in the last few hours and research shows that the more secure a baby feels feels the sooner they will feel confident to let go of mama, then they will stop it. Basically our babies have just realised that they are not a part of you and I and the world is a bit overwhelming for them. I am going to try and survive this by keeping her close and letting her live in the ergo baby carrier as much as she wants. She won't even go to her papa.
I promise you won't spoil him, just the opposite in fact. I have read alot of people talking about encouraging independence, my little girl is not even 300 days old! Confidence is what i wish for her. Independence can come later!

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lisagilsenan · 15/08/2011 14:50

Hi Lallyp, can you tell me what sites you use for your research, I would very much like to have a read myself. many thanks. I will let you know how we are doing in another week or so.

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Mondaybaby · 15/08/2011 15:10

My 11.5 month old dd is exactly the same. It started about 4 weeks ago. It is worse on some days than others. I am also of the opinion that they need to be held and given as much cuddling and reassurance that they need until it passes. Which it will!

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GillyGoggs · 19/08/2011 07:58

Thank you mondaybaby

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EverythingsNotRosie · 19/08/2011 09:04

DD is very like this with me when no one else is around. Funnily enough, she has loved her nursery taster days and not missed me at all, which I find quite weird. I have just got used to taking her to whichever room I am in and finding something for her to do there. If I can, I work one handed and hold her on the other one. If that's too dangerous e.g. cooking, sometimes she just has to cry for a few minutes. It is very frustrating though. On 'clingy' days, DH takes her out for an hour when he gets home from work to give me some headspace.

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Octaviapink · 19/08/2011 10:41

I really hope no one tells you to leave him to cry! That's only going to exacerbate his feelings. Supply as much cuddling and reassurance as you can and help him feel secure and the phase will pass.