Is this normal for a 5 year old?(13 Posts)
My friend has DS 10 and DS 5.
She lives 100ish miles from me so I visit every three or four months.
Last time I went, we took her DSs into town for the afternoon. The older one is an angel but the younger one spent the whole time complaining.
It was "I want this" and "I want that", and when he got what he wanted, he want something else. On the rare occasion that we went into a shop for us (i.e. a clothes store) he moaned loudly that he was bored and wanted to be somewhere else
I suggested she take him elsewhere whilst I tried something on, as she didn't want anying, he was clearly bored and I didn't want to rush just because he was making a scene (selfish I know, but I have to say if my DD was behaving like that I'd have been having words - plus I remember from my own childhood that when adults were paying for treats, you took the boring stuff as part of the deal!)
When we met up again he announced we were going to eat at a fast food restaurant. Whilst we were there he wanted everyone else's food as well as his own.
When we left, he wanted to go to the park across the way. So we went. When he'd finished we needed to go to the supermarket, but again he protested that this didn't fit in with what he wanted.
The whole time I felt really narked because he was never told "no". And his older brother was never like this.
So - is this just the way some children are, or somewhere along the line has his behaviour just not been corrected?
I realise it's all pretty trivial stuff and he could be a lot worse, but I just don't think I could let my DD behave like this when she's older...
Hmm. Having had 4 kids I would say some are worse than others at this. Even if you treat 1 child the same as another you can bet that there will be 1 that behaves this way. My youngest is a little like this, she does not get away with it but she is VERY vocal about not getting her way. On reflection maybe she has to be that way being the youngest, has to fight her corner??
IMHO this little guy needs some boundaries to be set along the lines of "you do x and y and your reward is....(insert activity of his choice)"
and no, everyone eats their own stuff, regardless of where you eat.
Thing is, I've got dses who are absolute chalk and cheese, and the parenting of a second child, as I've discovered,
the hard way can be completely different (learning) journey and no way do you apply the same stuff !!
You've obviously learned from the experience
Town for the afternoon would be a lot to ask of most children's patience.
Not met a small child yet who likes going adult clothes shopping.
Thanks for your responses. I was worried I was going to get flamed as it sounds like I'm slagging off a 5 year old! I love them both dearly as they're my best friend's children, but honestly, on that day he was really getting on my wick.
The restaurant situation probably wasn't helped by the fact that my friend said "Eat your own food first - THEN you can eat other people's!"
I couldn't quite believe what I was hearing...
Sandalwood I get what you mean, but that was one of two adult-oriented places we went. Everywhere else was a toy shop or park/bouncy castle type play area.
I woudn't go out trying on clothes with my own DS. That's just asking for trouble. Next time, you and your friend should take him to softplay and catch up in the coffee area in peace. Keep the clothes shopping for childfree days.
Toy shops aren't easy places for children either.
I'm just saying - I wouldn't go as far as to say his behaviour is shocking or not normal. Shopping trips for a whole afternoon test me - nevermind a 5 year old. I can't remember the last time I went into town I try and avoid it myself).
I would say pretty normal tbh, the expecting to eat other peoples food thing is a bit , the not wanting to wait in hot boring changing rooms/shops for ages, is not only normal but pretty sensible, I frigging hate it myself and would throw a tantrum if I could get away with it.
The only wanting to do what is fun and in their own agenda is normal, obviously they don't get their own way and have to endure boring adult pursuits such as shopping, they are allowed to moan about it a bit though, if you wanted to go shopping and someone kept dragging you to a library to sit in silence for however long, you would be pretty peeved too.
I don't find his behaviour that shocking tbh, but I find the lack of 'telling off' shocking iyswim. Most 5 year olds are pretty 'me me me' and need telling not to be so self centered. As for the food - wtf? Your friend clearly thinks the 'baby' of the family should pretty much have what he wants, he's going to end up making the eldest into a bit of a handful too if she's not careful.
I wouldn't clothes shop with kids though - but then I hate clothes shopping so I don't need any more stress
She may not have wanted to give him an utter bollocking in front of you
Mine are far older now but younger ds was a challenge at that age (boys at age 5-6 can be monstrous).
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