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worried about a 10 month baby- no imitation

(15 Posts)
Lena83 Wed 10-Aug-11 15:12:12


I'm new here and I really need some advice from more experienced mums. My son is 10 months and although in many ways he is a great child, he is missing a number of important milestones, which point to ASD... To keep things short: perfect fine and gross motor development: sits, crawl, pulls up to standing, even can stand on his own for a bit and attempted first steps. Picks up small things, clumsily uses a spoon if he wants, can use a crayon if he wants, turns pages in a book etc. He is very social and very smiley- smiles loads and its very easy to make him laugh, he loves playing with us and loves being with us, always prefers to be at least in the same room, if not on our laps. We have a very good bond, we sleep together and he often cuddles to me at night etc. He responds to his name, not always, but most of the time he does. So emotionally- perfect. He also babbles, so thats good. But: 1. he doesn't imitate. I know that babies are supposed to imitate- sounds, gestures, facial expressions. He doesn't do that- he will reciprocate a smile, but that's all. 2. No back and forth exchange of gestures and very little initiative. He loves peekaboo, when I put a blanket on his or my head he will remove it and laugh, but he would never put a blanket on his or my head. He would never give me something- he would take something from me if he wanted it, but would never give it back. Often he looks as if he wanted something, especially when he wants me to pick him up, he also put his arms up then. But he doesn't clap, doesn't wave, blow kisses, point (I know it's early for this one) etc. etc. Whenever he feels I want him to do something he gets really angry, so maybe that's the reason, he hates being made to do something or restrained in any way. I don't know what to think, on one hand he seems to be such a great kid and on an emotional level I feel everything is fine, but then I read about those red flags and milestones he's missing and wonder... In any case, what can I do about it? I'm pretty sure that the GP will tell me to give him time, but everywhere you read that early intervention is important. So there are red flags, but you can't do anything about it?
Has anyone else had a baby who did not imitate and did not exchange gestures at this age?

dycey Wed 10-Aug-11 15:35:14

You know I honestly don't think my ds imitated either... He used to stick out his Tongue in response to mine when he was very tiny but stopped and now will imitate through speech (he is 2.6 years) and I caught him copying his baby sister yesterday. But he has never gone in for mirroring. And didn't as a baby.

Your baby sounds absolutely lovely. I wouldn't worry at all. Perhaps he is very bright and can't see the point in mirroring you ?

Maybe someone else will say something else but I think you do not need to worry at all.... But check with your health visitor (if you have a nice intelligent one and if you don't then please find someone else to talk to!)

IndigoBell Wed 10-Aug-11 15:42:01

10 months really is young to worry.

The MCHAT is an ASD screening test for 18 month old babies.....

I normally tell people if they have concerns to see their GP - but in this case I really think you should wait a bit - especially when you have hardly any concerns. Fine and Gross motor skills fine, social, responds to name.....

My DS has ASD - and at 10 months he was missing a number of milestones, not just the imitation ones (which I have no idea whether he did or not)

coppertop Wed 10-Aug-11 16:03:15

I'd say that it's still really quite young to be expecting all those things.

I have a 10mth-old and she sounds a lot like your ds. She copies her favourite noise but not other sounds or facial expressions. She claps if she feels like it but it's certainly not something she would do on demand. No pointing yet and definitely doesn't blow kisses or hand me objects. To me she's pretty much where I would expect a 10mth-old to be.

I have two older children with autism (and another child with no autism) so probably am more paranoid than most about development. In your position I really think your ds sounds like a fairly typical 10mth-old.

To give you some comparison my eldest with autism barely realised I was there at this age. I could have left him by himself for hours at a time and he wouldn't have cared. My other ds with autism was much more sociable but still didn't do many of the things your ds does. He didn't babble, never lifted his arms up to signal that he wanted to be picked up, and didn't really play with anything. In fact when my third child (no autism) liked baby toys I thought it was amazing. Until then our baby toys had been mainly untouched.

I would give it a few more months at least.

busybee1983 Wed 10-Aug-11 16:10:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

staryeyed Wed 10-Aug-11 16:32:34

Well I think many of those things ds2 wasnt doing as a 10 month old and he doesnt have autism. His older brother was doing some of those things and has severe autism. Its very early to be worried about some of those things.

Agree with the toy comment. I was convinced that all babys were not into toys and it was marketing ploy to make parents spend money then ds2 and dd1 came along.

Lena83 Wed 10-Aug-11 18:34:49

wow, what a lovely bunch of people you are- thank you for taking time out of your busy lifes to help a strangersmile).

your replies made me feel much better and some things you said put things into perspective-like your comments about toys.

i feel that being mischievous and stubborn play a big part in my son's behaviour. His favourite pastime is taking my glasses off and then laughing when I tell him he is naughtysmile). Also he hates being fed but happily will eat anything off my plate.

thank you! I dedicate the chocolate pudding I've just made to yousmile)!

Albrecht Wed 10-Aug-11 18:42:44

ds is 13 months and just this last week has started copying us a little and giving me things. He still doesn't clap or point or put up his arms to be lifted. And I'm not worried about his development.

I wouldn't worry too much either, your ds sounds like he is doing loads.

AngelDog Thu 11-Aug-11 13:05:44

DS didn't do much imitation at that age, didn't clap, blow kisses, put arms up to be lifted, didn't start giving things back till about 15/16 months. He does all of those except for blowing kisses now at 19 m.o.

Sounds entirely within the normal range. smile

AngelDog Thu 11-Aug-11 13:06:34

Oops, forgot to add welcome to MN! smile

Peach07 Sat 23-Apr-16 09:11:28

Hi Lena83,
I hope you are well. My son who is 11 months sounds a lot like yours and I was wondering what has happened with him since you post? Did he started imitating and if so when? I would appreciate an update on your post. Thanks x

lazyminimoo Mon 25-Apr-16 01:47:18

I didn't notice my son copying me till he was over 2

ChocolateStash Mon 25-Apr-16 01:56:48

Ds started mimicking at about a year old. Children develop at different paces. Ds1 walked at 11 months, Ds2 is starting to crawl at 13 months.

weloveearlysleeptime Tue 26-Apr-16 16:28:53

my son was/is exactly the same. he is 20 months now - will clap, but won't blow a kiss, wave hello / goodbye. generally speaking, if we make the motions to try to get him to imitate, he will give us a WTF look till today! smile but he is doing very well language wise! some sentences, in addition to alphabet and number recognition (no we have not used flashcards it's been very organic). he loves books and us reading to him, and will bring us books that he wants us to read to him from the table. he can also fill in the end of sentences in some stories. child development is so varied, and i honestly think that if they aren't necessarily reaching 'some' milestones, that only means that they are concentrating on other areas that will only surface later and then you go 'ahhh......'.smile

Mummytobabyboyblue Fri 11-Aug-17 11:24:03

Hi Lena, I am just wondering how your little one is getting on? My little one is exactly the same at 9 months. When did he start imitating? Thank you

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