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Can anyone help me deal with my 4 yr old better?

(5 Posts)
BlobTheGreat Tue 09-Aug-11 22:00:31

I am finding my ds very draining at the moment. He has always been strong willed and independant which in itself is not really a problem and not entirely a bad thing but lately he is really pushing the boundaries.

It's nothing major really. All totally normal I am sure but I am getting tired of his attitude and the way he speaks to adults- except his teachers who he openly admits he's not cheeky to them because he wants them to like him hmm. He is stroppy and argumentative. He will argue that black is white and has always had a tendancy to be this way.

I ask him to do something simple such as put his shoes on and he whinges and moans or flat out refuses. When asked repeatedly he will eventually comply with our wishes but only with much complaining and attitude. I am sure it's all perfectly normal but I am really after coping mechanisms. i am 22 weeks pg with dc2 and feel I need to nip this in the bud now.

He is insistant that he is the boss of the house. He knows best. Today when left with my sister whilst I was at work he told her 'I am the boss, you don't live in this house so you don't know how this family works. Jesus Christ Aunty xxxx I am not arguing with you' sad. We tend to try to reason with him and explain that he needs to listen to adults etc but he is just so strong willed. We rarely shout and never hit him so I am interested to know how to deal with this and how to make him learn boundaries without becoming cruel and knock his confidence.

Any tips? thank you.

BlobTheGreat Tue 09-Aug-11 22:26:39

bump

BlueChampagne Wed 10-Aug-11 13:24:01

Respect due to you for rarely shouting! I've recently bought "How to talk so kids will listen" which is helping with my 4yo DS1. It hasn't got all the answers of course but it's a good place to start.

All the best.

BlobTheGreat Wed 10-Aug-11 20:33:07

Thank you. I will definitely look that book up. I am feeling a bit more positive today but I am sure that's because I have been at work this afternoon so dh has had it all to deal with!

MadButMeansWell Wed 10-Aug-11 22:02:44

If its any consolation my DS is 4 and until 3-6 months ago was so shy/ sensitive it was untrue and he is suddenly going through EXACTLY this phase. I have read (I think in Steve Biddell's 'Raising Boys') that boys have a temp increase in testosterone at around this age and so it's really common, and likely to be repeated when he hits his teens wink but also probably a phase he'll grow out of quite quickly!

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