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What's it like with 3 children?

(15 Posts)
FortiesCromarty Tue 09-Aug-11 08:43:35

Hello,

I'm unexpectedly expecting number three and was wondering shitting myself what it's like with three children? The oldest will be 5 and 2 when the baby arrives.

How is it different to two, how do you cope?

Also if anyone has grown-up as one of three, do you have any advice on how to avoid sibling conflict?

Thanks

oldmum42 Tue 09-Aug-11 09:02:05

The biggest shock is to go from 1 DC to 2..... additional children don't make that much difference IME (had 3 under age of 5 at one point, now have much younger "late baby" and 3 teens!).

Practical considerations are things like car seats, not all cars allow room for 3 baby car seats/boosters.

Your eldest will be at school, so giving you a more little time to deal with the others, and a 5 year old is capable of being quite useful "could you please bring mummy X, Y or Z for the baby, thank you baby is luck to have a big brother/sister like you" etc.

With my older 3 DS, the conflict is mostly between the eldest and middle one (3 year age gap), I don't know if it is the age gap that's to blame though.

Best wishes with no3!

FortiesCromarty Tue 09-Aug-11 09:11:17

Thanks,
Luckily our car is big enough for 3 seats so no worries there.
I'm hoping the eldest will be intrigued by a new baby, the youngest will be wildly jealous, but hopefully also interested enough to help.

SybilBeddows Tue 09-Aug-11 09:19:19

I am one of 3 and I have 3.

It is chaos but nice.

As grownups I like the fact that when one sibling is having problems or being a twat the other two can get together and talk about them.

In the short term, the chances are your 5 year old will love the new baby and the two year old will hardly notice it. The conflicts kick in more when it gets to 2ish and wants to play with the older ones all the time. But basically the baby is their favourite toy and their friends who don't have baby brothers are jealous and are always nagging their mums to get them one grin

In my family the alliances shifted, very often there would be one sibling left out but it varied as to who it was.

DH finds the squabbling over who sits on which sofa cushion etc a bit disconcerting as he was an only child and grew up in a calm civilised household, which ours is not.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Sleepglorioussleep Tue 09-Aug-11 09:27:54

So far so good! Similar to you, dd five ds two (three in couple of months) dd five weeks. Dd being at school really helps. I should say I found one to two absurdly horrendous (was ill during pg which didn't help). I also tried to do too much and didn't rest. This time I have really prioritised rest and dh has really supported it. I have found the network of school mums invaluable too-lots of offers of help and plenty in the bank. Congratulations! I'm sure it'll be a busy old life, but we are so so glad we had number three. Dd1 is absolutely besotted, well both are really. Could say more but typing left handed as I feed!

Sleepglorioussleep Tue 09-Aug-11 09:31:33

Btw, ds, two flips between love and gentle kissing and stroking to indifference. I know this will change when dd2 is able to really disrupt his play, but at the mo, he actively loves his sister and has learnt the high pitched "talking to baby" voice!

Sleepglorioussleep Tue 09-Aug-11 09:35:44

Oh and dd actually helpful! Last time I pretended she was helpful but actually it was always easier to do the job myself!

FortiesCromarty Tue 09-Aug-11 09:37:51

Thanks for all your replies.

Do you find Sleepglorioussleep that your DS wants a lot of extra attention from you, or is he quite contented when you're feeding the baby?

Sleepglorioussleep Tue 09-Aug-11 09:46:31

Not noticed it to be a problem. I really did with dd after ds born. But I'm less crabby this time and more willing/able to chat or play with ds while feeding. He also has dd to distract him. Ask again in a few weeks when dd back at school! I'm aware this is all early days stuff I'm saying, but at no point with one to two was it as happy and settled as it is now (although it was quieter grin). It's not that dd is easier either-she gets quite windy and has long awake at night periods. You will be fine-busy, but fine!

MogTheForgetfulCat Tue 09-Aug-11 19:44:59

Hello, I had DS3 earlier this year, he is now almost 6 months. I have found it pretty good going from 2 to 3 (certainly nothing like as bad as going from 1 to 2, and an absolute doddle compared with going from 0 to 1 grin).

DS1 was just 5 and DS2 v nearly 3 when DS3 arrived. No obvious sibling rivalry from either - have assumed that it's all old hat to DS1 (as he's been through it before with DS2, and it was quite rocky for a few months), and DS2 seems to adore DS3. I was expecting DS2 to be tricky as he is a complete mummy's boy and v physically possessive of me (still sticking his hand down my top at 3.5 - sigh), but he has not shown any aggression towards DS3 at all, thank goodness. He has been quite tricky in other ways, though - lots of tantrums, quite bolshy, not eating much, squabbling with DS1. But then, he is 3, so that could be enough explanation for all of that!

Both have been quite willing to help out, fetching nappies etc., which is nice.

DS1 and DS2 are v close, love playing together, share a room etc - they do squabble a lot, but are essentially v close, so I do worry that DS3 will be stuck on a limb, as there are just 2 years between DS1 and DS2, but 3 years between DS2 and DS3. But that will be a wait and see.

Am most daunted by the noise levels (2 are loud, so 3 will be deafening, I think!) and the amount they will eat as they get older grin.

I must admit that some of this relatively positive experience of having a third is down to sheer luck, in that DS3 is an absolute honey of a baby, v sweet and smiley, incredibly laid-back. Wishing you the same!

SybilBeddows Tue 09-Aug-11 20:25:03

ah, Mog, the classic Laid Back Third Baby.

Mine is like that too smile. So is my brother's.

Fingers crossed for yours, Forties!

DeWe Tue 09-Aug-11 23:44:49

I think the comment I'd make is very generally two play together nicely most of the time, but it depends on which two. Sometimes that means that the third is happily doing something on their own, but sometimes the third is either being excluded or trying to wind the other two up.
Sometimes all three play together nicely, which is lovely.

MrsShrekTheThird Wed 10-Aug-11 00:10:37

Insane but brilliant. grin
Third birth was the most unpredictable but once she was here, two big brothers adored her. When all three play together you cant beat it. (and when they all fight you need earplugs) wouldn't have it any other way, I'm one of 3 and wanted three of my own - am camping with them atm, mad but fantastic.

FortiesCromarty Wed 10-Aug-11 16:31:01

Thanks so much for the positive vibes, I'm now looking forward to it a bit more smile

lollystix Thu 11-Aug-11 07:27:28

My experience very like Mogtheforgetful with my 3 boys except gap smaller - eldest turn 5&3 this week and baby 16 months. It's mental and loud but ds3 angel baby who sleeps so well. His brothers adore him and it's so lovely to watch them all rolling round the floor together. Have noticed ds3 grown up very fast but maybe that's him. He has also recently become excessively shouty- I think to get heard. It's chaos and so loud but alot of fun. The jump for us was quite tame - I found 0-1 truly awful and thereafter it's been easy reaLly. However I'm accidentally pregs with ds4blush who is due in 10 weeks so come back and ask me if I'm coping in 6 months time.

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