advice for a naughty 7 year old

[sami27]

i have a little boy aged 7 and just lately he has turned changed into such a badly behaved child and i am at the end of my tether. he answers back, talks down to me, disregards everything i say and is generally rude and cheeky alot of the time. he is a good boy usually and i dont know how to deal with him. today he has weed on the hallway floor, refused to go in the bath and screamed and cried for an hour and has now just messed his pants all because he thinks there is a spider in the bathroom (i removed the spider this morning in front of him). i understand he is scared of spiders but surely this behaviour is wrong.
i dont know how to deal with his behaviour and when i have spoken to his friends mothers they tell me its normal. i am single and do find it hard to stick to things as sometimes i just want an easy life but i need this to stop as we are both so unhappy arguing all the time. any ideas would be gratefully recieved.

[LucyLastik]

will watch this with interest as I have a 7 yo DD who is being a right PITA just lately. She is rude, obnoxious and just generally hard work to be around. This evening, she was jumping on the furniture, despite being told not to a million times. Eventually, she threw her legs up in the air and managed to kick DS right across the living room and into the blanket box.

When I asked her why she had continued to jump on the sofa after being told to pack it in, she said she was "practising her skills" and it was DS's fault because he shouldn't have been walking past her at that precise moment in time. She was sent to her room, stayed there for 5 minutes then started bellowing "Mum, can I come out now?"

[sami27]

i have tried the sending to his room but he just plays or shouts down, tried naughty step but he just gets off and we end up physically grappling. its a bloody nightmare he hates me and tells me constantly.:(

[chickflick]

Have you asked him if he knows why he is being badly behaved?I sometimes find children have a good understanding of what is going on in their heads (jealousy/friendship upset etc).|Equally sometimes they don't and just need boundaries and consequences.With my boy less computer games time is the best punishment as that is what he loves to do.
Try rewards for good behaviour as well as punishment for bad.
You have my utmost respect doing the parenting on your own. V v hard job.
His fear of the spider was bigger than his fear of displeasing you. Maybe he could have a wash in a bowl that night as a one off if he is tired. Have you another toilet he can use at all? Sometimes it is best to allow them to sidestep their fears and then they forget about it the next day (hopefully). I am a big believer in picking your fights and some don't need to be fought.

[Jesusgirl]

Parenting is a constant battle! Sometimes you're winning, sometimes not so! It could be very stressful especially as a single parent.

I'd say positive reinforcement works a lot better than punishment. Don't get me wrong, they need to know when they've crossed the line and face the consequence.

With my ds 7 as well, it's a constant warfare! We have seasons of really horrible behaviour where he gets defiant, talking back, sulking etc. What works for us are sticker charts with a reward attached after so many stickers. In that way he's motivated to 'be good'. He loves getting those stickers so he goes out of his way to earn it.

Is his dad actively involved in his life? I think at this age, theyre getting aware of their male identity and need that male figure, they feel women are just women and don't understand them. If his dad isn't there, then maybe get him a male role model. He might find it easier talking about what's on his mind ( if there's anything).

You're not alone sometimes it feels that way! You feel everyone else's child is a saint except yours but trust me everyone battles with one thing or the other.