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Should I be concerned about this 'fantasy' in my nearly 9yr old ds or is it normal behavioural development?

(5 Posts)
citronella Sat 06-Aug-11 21:42:31

We had a pyjama day today for the first time in months. My nearly 9 yr old decided to spend almost the whole day - aside from mealtimes - in his bed covered up to the neck in his duvet but behaving quite furtively. At one point I noticed he had taken his pyjama top off. I asked him why and he said no reason. When he got up for the toilet I looked under the duvet and found 3 of my bras there. My first reaction was to ask him what the devil he was doing with them but when I calmed down from the shock I thought I didn't want to 'spook' him so i basically said whatever he was playing was ok but it is not ok to go into and get things out of my drawers. A bit later ds2 asked ds1 for help on the computer and when I came upstairs found ds1 hiding under the computer desk wearing his pants, my bra and socks stuffed into the cups! Really really don't know what to make of this if anything at all. I am hoping this is just a phase but I have no idea what it means. Is this some sort of deep seated psychological thing or is he gay or what? This is my little boy and and all of a sudden today I feel like I don't know him anymore. Does anyone have any experience or insight? sad

CaptainNancy Sat 06-Aug-11 21:50:00

I don't think it indicates homosexuality- I think most cross-dressers are straight aren't they?

If his body is starting to change, he's probably just trying to see what it's like for others. I remember my sister expecting to be able to choose which gender she became when she went through puberty, bless her.

citronella Sat 06-Aug-11 22:24:15

I guess I just have no idea what a boy goes through. The most difficult part I think is that I have realised today that there is a part of him where I, as mum, have no access. He clearly didn't want to talk about it with me. I having to learn to let go already. I hope he is just exploring gender differences.

BlobTheGreat Mon 08-Aug-11 10:27:38

No it doesn't mean he's gay! He's a child who is dressing up and probably curious about oposite sex etc. Absolutely normal. It's no indication of him growing up to be gay/ straight/ cross dresser. I used to make a 'penis' out of socks etc and put it in my pants to see how it felt to be a boy when I was around that age. I am not a cross dresser nor am I a lesbian.

easylife73 Mon 08-Aug-11 11:00:18

My eight year old DS was in a changing toom with me the other day - we were both trying on swimming costumes/trunks. He asked me what boobs felt like, and then could he touch them! He pressed my nipple and collapsed into fits of eurgh! & giggles. I think at that age they're just curious about the opposite sex as well as their own bodies, and it's probably perfectly normal TBH. He's just aware that your body is different and curious about how.

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