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someone please tell me this will get easier

(12 Posts)
Frankie000 Tue 02-Aug-11 23:17:05

I have a 3 week old ds with colic who has screamed for over 6 hours today and a 15 month old ds who had pretty much moaned all day too. Theyre both peacefully asleep now and Im sitting here in tears, dont think Ive ever felt so stressed. This will get easier, right?

Darnsarfupnorf Tue 02-Aug-11 23:58:19

It will definetly get easier smile the colic will pass, your ds will get used to having a little brother and youll soon get used to having them both and learn to enjoy them. chin up and remind yourself its just a phase smile x

baggyfanny Wed 03-Aug-11 00:08:40

yes it will get easier. what helped me through a similar situation was the repeating of the MN mantra: this too shall pass. it's not forever, you haven't ruined your life, as i sometimes used to think to myself. it is truly bloody awful AND you feel awful because you feel it is awful. IYSWIM? don't give yourself a hard time. i am so glad that we are nearly through my two son's baby stages and i feel i can actually start truly enjoying being a mum AND i don't feel at all bad about saying that. plus, it could be worse, MN might not exist! wink

smearedinfood Wed 03-Aug-11 00:16:12

it will get easier, some days will even be fun

HowNowKernow Wed 03-Aug-11 14:56:08

I have under 16 months between mine and it was very, very hard. Its having two babies which are at totally different stages but who both need all of your time.
I'm a year or so on now and it has become easier, I don't really remember the first 3 months or so though, it is just a blur of nappies and feeding!
My two play together a bit now that the youngest is getting a little independance and its lovely to watch them, they are so close and yours will be too.
Take every day as it comes, some you'll cry and some you'll laugh - some days I'm not sure which to do!

Frankie000 Wed 03-Aug-11 23:09:27

Thank you all, thats exactly what I needed to hear smile Have had a better day today. I think whats making it worse is that Im feeling so guilty about having to split my time between two babies who need me so much, I guess that will pass as I get into more of a routine and my elder ds gets used to little brother.

HowNowKernow Thu 04-Aug-11 14:26:06

Yes, learning how to tend to both of them has been pretty hard. Once my eldest could walk things got a little easier and when she could use a fork reliably things got better too.

Every so often I hit a month or so of new difficulty, at the moment the youngest has started being more mobile so that is presenting new challenges!

The terrible two tantrums combined with teething baby has been pretty hard for me too recently, but I'm just trying to keep my chin up because like all the other phases I know it will pass too, its just a matter of staying sane in the mean time!

I keep thinking how nice it will be when they are a little older!

futuramamma Thu 04-Aug-11 14:43:54

I am also a new (first baby) mum of a one month old boy and I am finding it extremely hard...the crying is killing me..and the difficulty in bonding is extreme...I guess caused by the crying...I feel bad for admitting it but I am struggling with bonding with my own son: what a terrible mother I must be.
I have such a sad feeling inside of if someone died. I must sound terrible but that is how I feel. My partner is extremely supportive, but he is back at work now and I have to admit I feel a bit resentful towards him: he is back in the adult world while I am here all day stuck in the house trying to decode this crying baby. HV and GP are not very supportive either, they just say "that's how it is with a newborn" and look at me as to say "here we go , another first time mum"...I feel like there is no end to this tunnel, and then I feel even worse because I should be super happy for having such a wonderful little boy. what is wrong with me?will things ever get better?sad

NinjaTurtle Thu 04-Aug-11 15:00:47

Hi futuramamma
just wanted to say that things will get better. I had an awful time with DD, colic and reflux, barely napped in the day. It was exhausting. I constantly felt like I'd made a terrible mistake and couldn't cope. None of my friend's babies were like this. I felt so alone. DD screamed for hours each evening, she screamed when held, screamed when you put her down. If your GP is not supportive, go to another doctor and have a chat. I was put on citalopram to help me cope. Not saying this is necessary for you, but it will certainly help to have a chat with a sympathetic doctor. Do you have a surestart centre near you? They usually have drop ins for weighing, run by a HV, maybe a different one to your own who will be more sympathetic.

Nothing is wrong with you. Anyone would find a relentlessly crying baby difficult, anyone who says otherwise is lying! I found that getting out and about helped. I even used to wander round the metro centre in Gateshead until 9pm whilst I was staying in the area, as DD would be over the worse by that time. I also invested in an amby hammock, which helped settle her, there are always reasonably priced ones on eBay. Try to get out for a couple of hours each day. I know it's difficult and you feel tired, but it will help, I promise.

I know it seems a long way off, but by 12 weeks your baby will be much improved, and you will start to enjoy him. He will smile, gurgle, roll, giggle and you will forget how tough the first few months were.

'this too shall pass'

charl2503 Thu 04-Aug-11 21:26:16

Im in exactly the same position as you. My DCs are the same age as yours. My DD has been so jealous since DS arrived, and I think thats why she has been so agitated. DS also has colic, but ive found that the dentinox drops work incredibly well (i put the drops in his bottle, rather than straight into his mouth). It will get easier (thats what i keep telling myself anyway). Good luck smile

emmyloo2 Fri 05-Aug-11 15:18:42

Futuramama - oh I feel for you. My DS is now 8.5 months old and the first 6 months were the worst months of my life. I honestly wondered what I had done to my life. The crying, the lack of sleep, the constant constant demands. It was awful.

and agree by 12 weeks it started to get easier. I went back to full time work at 3.5 months and by then it was easier, for sure. By 6 months it then got even easier. I am now counting down to 12 months when hopefully it will get easier again.

getting out is definitely a good idea and maybe you could leave the baby with your partner for a few hours on the weekend so you can have a break. He really does have it easier by getting to escape to work. Work is a breeze compared to a young baby.


greenshoot19 Fri 05-Aug-11 21:47:36

Futuramama, you are not alone - even though it definitely feels like it at the time. big big hugs. i never had the slightest clue how absolutely desperately hopeless i would feel, i completely panicked and thought i was doomed to a life of misery. i also resented my husband being able to go to work! but there IS hope!! it DOES get better. each day you get to know each other a bit better and learn how to deal with the different situations the best you can. i know it might not seem like it now, but you will begin to enjoy your baby, especially as he develops and gives back. you are NOT a terrible mother - you are so very normal and doing a WONDERFUL job just getting up every morning!! definitely agree that you must get a break and some time to yourself. you may feel like you've lost who you are but it is only temporary, you will emerge out of the chaos and find you are still you and you also have a new best friend! keep persevering smile

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