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Please help! Aggressive and rude 2.9 month old

(7 Posts)
TheNutmegofconsolation Sun 31-Jul-11 21:39:06

Somebody please help! I don't know how best to handle my 2.9 month old little boy. He is very spirited, can be very charming, but after having a girl, is very, very different. He seems so aggressive, turning wooden spoons into guns and shooting at me and his sister, hitting me, his sister and his dad. Shouting "I am going to kill you".
He is rude tells us all to "shut up", calls us "poo-poo".
Written down, it doesn't sound too bad but his sister is quite and passive and although a lot older at 8, he upsets her a lot.
Should I ignore the rudeness and aggression? Will he grow out of it? How best to respond? I take him to the park/playgroup every day, so that he gets a chance to burn off energy. He never watches even cartoon violence.

I find myself missing my lovely newborn baby who has morphed into this terrible toddler!

timidviper Sun 31-Jul-11 21:42:06

I might sound very old fashioned here but I think consistent discipline is the answer. DS was much more "rowdy" than DD but he was much easier to handle when he knew where the line was and what the consequences were if he crossed it.

TheNutmegofconsolation Sun 31-Jul-11 21:45:49

I agree. Problem is Dad is much more of a soft touch than I am, which doesn't help at all and is a source of tension between us.

ccj2011 Sun 31-Jul-11 21:48:49

Sounds similar to the thread I just started about my 2.9 year old. Maybe we are just blessed with energetic boys!

TheNutmegofconsolation Sun 31-Jul-11 22:11:49

I will go and have a read! I hope that you get some help and advice.
He is lovely, but I just worry what he will be like when he gets older, if he is so aggressive now!

DD is very passive, very well behaved and we have never really had to worry about her, in terms of behaviour.

Maybe I should have a look on Amazon for a book; don't know where to start. I have "Raising Boys" but it seems to be about older boys and also put me off as it says that boys should not be separated from their mothers until after the age of 3 and I work part-time.
He goes to a lovely childminder and apparently, is not so challenging when he is with her, which is good but makes me feel that it must be something that I am doing wrong if he is like it at home!

Nagini Sun 31-Jul-11 22:29:05

you need to deal with the behaviour, not demonise the maleness of him. Plenty of girls are hitty bitey nightmares hmm

What do you do when he hits?

What TV does he watch? what games do you play with him?

TheNutmegofconsolation Mon 01-Aug-11 15:01:08

TV - Cbeebies, DVDs - old Disney films, such as the "The Aristocats" "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" Bedknobs and Broomsticks; nothing PG only U classification.
Games - drawing, painting, cooking, hide and seek, football, jigsaws, playing shop, normal stuff.
Go to the park every day, on the slide, climbing frame, roundabout.
I didn't set out to "demonise" him being a boy and I do appreciate that girls can behave aggressively too; I just find him very different from my DD. She is 8 and has SN, (not sure if that is relevant), but she has development delay, so happy to play with her younger brother as there is not so much of a gap in age.
When he hits I tell him that it is not nice to hit, and give him "time out" stop what we are doing and move him somewhere else. I don't do a "naughty step", I just remove him from the situation and stop playing with him for a while, try to get him to say "sorry"

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