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Ignored/Slapped by 20mo?

(3 Posts)
FrowningNotRaving Sun 31-Jul-11 11:40:28


Have posted in Parenting also.

Just got back from a week at the inlaws who live quite a way away - very supportive but have only met dd a handful of times. Dd has had the best holiday ever - her grandparents are really fun and hands on but I'm now feeling a bit low. After the first day of getting her bearings she has totally ignored me other than wanting to bf. She has been all about her daddy and all the other family members and friends and when I've tried to interact with her as usual she's pushed me away, sometimes shouting, Mommy No and has hit and slapped me as well as giving me the death-stare.

DH has been really supportive, noticing the behaviour also and reinforcing that we don't hit mummy etc but it's been really hurtful. Now that we're home it's all back to normal but can anyone illuminate me as to what that was all about? Think perhaps that it was because she it was all about her and she was loving all the attention and fun (which is the point of going, of course) but this has also reinforced a bit of a nagging thing that I've had about not being all that fun. DH and I both work full-time but I do all the morning/evening and quite often the weekend parenting due to DH's working hours but I'm not really that good at the raucous stuff, although dd and I are very close and I like to think we do lots of reading, walking, arty things together and with my mum friends' children (that sounds dull even just writing it down!)

Any ideas what's going on? Even just to be told I'm really precious/hypersensitive would help!


BertieBasset Sun 31-Jul-11 11:57:23

DD1 is exactly the same. I like to fool myself think that it is because she knows I am always there and I do all the practical stuff, so she goes elsewhere for the "fun" stuff. We do of course have fun and laughs and giggles, but not in the same way she does with dh.

As far as gp's are concerned they adore her and let her get away with murder. She gets most of her discipline from me as I spend the most time with her, but it is me she wants when she is tired, ill, story time etc.

I feel like you sometimes, but then I think back to how I thought of my mum when I was a kid and I adored her, I knew she loved me, cared for me, looked after me etc. I hope DD1 feels the same.

DD2 only 7 weeks so she has no choice yet, she's stuck with me smile

FrowningNotRaving Sun 31-Jul-11 12:02:26

Thank you! Feel better already at that... was berating myself about every time she's ever asked me for attention and I've made her hang on, resulting in attachment issues blush

You're a star. And congratulations on your new baby.

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