Almost 20 months old and still not walking or talking(12 Posts)
My DS is now almost 20 months old and is still not walking/talking. I am on the brink of making a GP appt but thought I would see if anyone else out there can offer support/advice. DS is a very active, lively little boy who can crawl at an amazing pace and is happily cruising around the furniture and standing (when supported). In fact he spends an awful lot of time standing (clinging on to a piece of furniture). He has taken one or two small steps with great encouragement from myself and DH, but always collapses to the floor. He is fully weight bearing and does not have any unusual habits. He doesn't bottom shuffle or 'crab crawl' or stand on his toes, and he can get up and down the stairs no problem. He sat unaided at about 7 months and crawled at 11 months, nothing particularly late. What is so frustrating is that he appears completely normal in every way, except he just cannot walk. It's driving me mad and although everyone tells me he will walk when he is ready I am starting grow more concerned. My other DS (who is now 5 1/2 yrs old) walked at 14 months and I didn't even give walking a second thought, it just happened. I have always encouraged DS no.2 but am questioning if I have done enough to help him. I now pull him up and make him walk (rather than carry him) as much as I can around the house....he can walking holding my hand and seems to enjoy it and we do this lots. But soon as I let go he is back to crawling. Help!! He also has not said his first word yet which worries me. He babbles and laughs all the time but still has not even said 'mamma' or 'dadda' despite us talking to him all the time and encouraging him. My older DS was also delayed with his speech so I am not all that surprised. Older DS said virtually nothing until he was nearly 3 and I was so worried I took him to a speech therapist who said he was normal and indeed he started to talk shortly after. Both my boys are a joy and have lovely personalities, and I am a stay at home mum who is always with them and nurturing them. I take DS no.2 to Mumbabes every week and messy play and I have lots of friends and a close family so we are always out and about doing things. All in all a very conventional lifestyle. I just don't understand these delays.
Make a GP appt just to put your mind at rest. Either GP will say wait or will make a referral. Either way you have nothing to lose.
In terms of telling your GP about whats worrying you try to break down walking and talking into separate elements: for walking is he pulling up, standing etc (sounds like hes quite far along) on talking is he communicating pointing, gestures, signing making noises, does he understand any words (like bath or milk or teddy).
I dont know much about 20 months, my dd is younger and has delays. But I know that GPs etc take you more seriously if you can pinpoint specific skills that are missing rather than say he's not walking (which I think is not seen as a problem until they are 2). So for my girl it was the fact that she wasnt trying to get about rather than the fact that she couldn't crawl yet that got the GP's attention.
Thankyou that's valuable advice and you are right, walking and talking are two very seperate things. I will make the appt and beforehand make a list of specific things that are worrying me so I am prepared.
Im not sure from your response that I was clear enough. I dont mean separating walking from talking but separating each of those into its components and analysing what of thsoe your child has learnt so far. Or perhaps you got this already..
I do understand what you mean. I have made the GP appt and am taking him this afternoon. I suspect with regards to the walking she will tell me he is just slow, he is after all making progress even if it is very gradual. I would like a second opinion on the speech/communication delay though. Even although my older DS was slow to talk and he is a very chatty boy now, I still worry. DS no. 2 can't wave, point or in any way tell me what he wants, he also hasn't developed any kind of worrying sign language technique or anything like that. He is still just at the baby babbling stage with lots of smiles and that's it. But I think he should have moved on from this by now. I just don't know what else I can do to help him. At least he isn't frustrated, he doesn't seem to care and is very happy. Thank you very much for showing an interest...
Good luck, it does sound really promising I think. But I know nothing much. Post again and let me know what happened (if its not too much fuss)
So the GP was concerned and said DS2 should much be much further along by now. She said if it was just the walking that was an issue she wouldn't be as worried, but because he can't speak either she thinks there could be more to it. She is arranging to get his hearing checked and also for him to have a full developmental check by a pediatrician (it's a 2 hour process that literally checks your child from top to bottom). I was very shaken by it all, but in my heart I knew something was up. It could still be that he is just a very late developer rather than anything more sinister but nevertheless he is going to need some help and as parents we are really worried. Best to face it though, and start helping him as soon as we can. Just thought you would like to know.
Well done for trusting your gut and taking him to the GP
A full check by a paediatrician will really help - either it will put your mind at ease that your DS2 is just a late developer, or it will identify any potential problems and you can get them treated.
Of course you're worried, but he's still the same lovely, lively little fellow. Nothing has changed, except your perception. Somehow a doctor saying something makes it feel more real, but the doc was only confirming what you knew anyway - best to get him checked out.
Best of luck
You sound like a lovely Mum, your boys are lucky to have you.
Don't blame yourself, OP, there's nothing (and I mean NOTHING) you could have done differently. Moreover, he may still suddenly accelerate & develop within the normal range, and it would have been silly to worry yourself unnecessarily before now (which is the soonest they'd have done anything in response to your concerns, no matter how early you raised them, anyway).
Good luck with the upcoming appointments.
Hi Robsie that was quick! Thanks for updating, I always find it sad not to hear what happened next. I know its a shock, even when you have worries, it feels surreal to have a dr say 'yes there is something we should investigate'.
Remember that that is all they are saying at the moment and just keep on enjoying your boy.
Theres a couple of threads on the special needs board with people waiting on the results of investigations into developmental delays. I find them helpful as its people in a similar situation to me (Altho it was really difficult to go on that board the first time.) Plus there are some posters who know lots of really useful stuff. Like Hanen for instance and where to get it cheap...
Good luck and well done for spotting the delay and getting expert input. That is the best thing for your child and many people don't manage to do this at all until much much later. Big hug xx
Thank you all, I love my boys more than anything and whatever hand I am dealt I will tackle it head on. If there is something amiss with DS2 then I would rather face it now and know I am doing all that I can to help him. This weekend is hard, digesting what the doctor has said and now looking at my gorgeous boy in a different light and searching for signs to explain why his development is delayed. I know I won't get any answers until he is seen by the specialist, so until then I will try hard not to scrutinise his every move and just carry on living normally. Thanks everyone, your kind words have helped ease my pain.
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