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My 6 year old is very abusive

(2 Posts)
CurlyJones Thu 28-Jul-11 23:40:17

Hi,
I don't know if anyone can help but i am lost. My middle son is abusive, physically and verbally, refuses to go to bed, ( i have tried putting him in super nanny stylee and just keep putting him back but that takes 2 hours every night and doesn't get any shorter) is mean and rude to adults and children alike.
I have been on the Incredible Years course and learned to give positive praise for everything he does nicely but even that doesn't work anymore he just puts his fingers in his ears and says that he doesn't care and he is not listening.

sad

crispyseaweed Fri 29-Jul-11 09:30:25

Sorry to hear how difficult your son is being. Can you pinpoint what is actually making him so awful? Has anything happened that is making him rebel and be difficult. Have you asked him why he is cross etc?
As well as the praise , where appropriate give him cuddles and lots of love , when appropriate and tell him you love him.
Sometimes this even is hard when you have had an awful day and he has been dreadful. But when he is calm and in a good mood just praise him for that, " I am really pleased with you , and happy when you are calm and behaving so well" etc.
Dont give him attention for fingers in ears, etc, just turn your back and walk away, dont look at him and look annoyed.
Seize him quickly when he is rude to people, take him away from the situation and speak to him very firmly. " I will not have you speaking like that , "
"If you are good today I will buy you an icecream" (or whatever his favourite is)
Its such hard work and when the child is your own you are so emotionally involved its even harder.
Is he tired at bedtime , has he run about enough in the day? How do the other sibling treat him? Is he the dominant character?
Stay strong, and well done for doing the course. Persevere with the supernanny techniques. I think they are great. Dont give in cos at the end of the day you are doing him a disservice if you do. Plus your life will be a total misery if you let him get away with bad behaviour. With discipline he will learn to respect you , and you deserve to be respected.
What about talking to your GP to see if there are any other courses you /DS could try.

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