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11 month old and seperation anxiety - what shall I do?

(3 Posts)
lots33 Wed 27-Jul-11 09:01:03

I am seeking some advice regarding my 11 month old DS. I think this is separation anxiety - not sure if it is OK or not IYKWIM.

Our circumstances have recently changed in that we are between houses and staying with my BIL for four weeks. I am still on ML.

Until last week, I have never used a playpen and felt safe leaving DS in a room with some toys and he was always OK with this. That being said, he wasn't crawling then......so fast forward a few days and not only have we moved house but DS has started crawling.

BIL has a dog who is not great with children so I cannot leave DS on the floor when I leave the room and certainly not now he is crawling......so I have borrowed a playpen which I use, when I have to and for a maximum of 5 mins. I always wave 'bye bye' to DS.

As soon as I leave the room he screams blue murder and seems really distressed. I am as quick as I can but needs must sometimes. When I return he is sobbing and jams his head into my neck and clings.....it really upsets me.

He never does this when DP is home and I think she (same sex relationship) and BIL just think that DS 'tries it on' because I am a soft touch.....

Would you worry about this? Or will DS just have to get used to it? I am concious that we have turned his life upside down by moving and I do try to take him with me when possible. Will he get used to it? Am I right to be worried or I am being PFB! Would really value advice from others.

Sorry but have to post and run but will be back later to read responses/ post more.

BTW other than this he is really happy.

TIA

Albrecht Wed 27-Jul-11 12:02:47

Well I am a bit pfb about mine so maybe not the best to offer advice but...

Its a stage they should grow out of it but I do think moving could have unsettled him. I find it least stressful personally to avoid upset if I can so I stick him in the sling if I can rather than leaving to howl (an ergo is good for a bigger child on your back). Not saying this is right and the other is wrong, just my approach to stay sane.

I think you get to choose what you do if you are alone with him, not your partner or bil. Maybe he is trying it on to test whether he really can trust you, he's still pretty new to the world. The odd time isn't going to destroy him of course, so don't feel guilty if it can't be avoided but I wouldn't shurk on the comforting when you come back.

Just wait till he can tell you he hates you!

Are you moving to your new place soon?

lots33 Wed 27-Jul-11 16:04:32

Thanks for replying. It is reassuring and I will try to aviod the playen as much as possible. We are moving again, to our own house in 4 weeks and I can't wait. He is probably picking up on my anxiety too!

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