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i feel so shitty.. please help.

(8 Posts)
missdaydreamer Tue 26-Jul-11 23:40:04

My DD is a very intelligent 2 and a half year old. She has always been so well behaved up until the last few months. Today I took her out. We where going for abit if dinner at a cafe and then onto the park. In the cafe she decided to refuse to eat anything, try to kick over the table with my coffee on, laugh at me when I tried to calmly explain that it wasn't acceptable behaviour. She has the usual tantrums and then pinched me repeatedly and waited for a reaction. She then bit me and I got so frustrated at people starring at me like I. Couldn't controlling my child I got really cross and to avoid shouting in the shop I went close to her and told her if she didn't stop we wouldn't go the park and we would Ho home... I had a really frustrated tone and kind of squashed my nose up against hers in frustration and I feel absolutely awful. Iv cried all night since putting her to bed. How do I hale it. Iv tried all the naughty step, time out, talking calmly. Should I feel like a shit mum? Please help x

Nagini Tue 26-Jul-11 23:43:14

she's trying to assert herself.

You've set boundaries and are sticking to them.

Why are you feeling shit about that? She's 2 and a half, you are teaching her what she can and can't do. She's not going to be born knowing that.

I don't think you did anything wrong at all.

missdaydreamer Tue 26-Jul-11 23:46:48

I felt shit at squashing my face abit close to hers when I told her off. I never get overly angry and try to stay calm but I felt it might have been abit if a frustrated thing to do. X

missdaydreamer Tue 26-Jul-11 23:56:52

I can feel myself getting so angry and frustrated and it makes me feel so guilty. I feel like,all I do is shout at her at the minute and its wearing me down. X

iceandsliceplease Wed 27-Jul-11 00:01:05

Well, yes, you were frustrated, and tired, and angry. It's not how you wanted to deal with the situation, but you've not done anything wrong. You're just a normal mum, trying to cope with a two year old (and believe me, they know how to push ones buttons).

Cut yourself some slack. She was acting up, you tried to deal with it, she ignored you, as all kids will do at some point, and you got angry. It's not as though you walloped her across the face, then called her 'fucking shit for brains' as I've seen some mothers do to their toddlers (I used to live in a very rough area).

Cut yourself some slack. If today is the worst you've done, then you've done nothing wrong. You're not a shit mum. Just posting this thread shows that. Toddlers are normally tricky at times, and you will lose your temper. But it doesn't mean you're a shit mum.

missdaydreamer Wed 27-Jul-11 00:05:47

Thanks girls. I'm going to start a fresh, keeping calm and chilling out tomorrow ( that will last 5 mins until she throws her breakfast at me LOL) tomorrow. It is the worst and I would hate to ever take an aggressive tone again. I still feel really awful but all I can do is try to stay calm and not let it get to me. It's not easy in this heat! Roll on the winter! X

IslaValargeone Wed 27-Jul-11 00:14:41

You are giving yourself too much of a hard time. This can be a really crappy time in their development, and be quite shock for you if your dd has been previously well behaved. You may well feel that all you do is shout, but to be honest I think this is gird your loins time, when you are going to have to think of some strategies for this new trying stage. You have upped the ante a bit with the nose to nose thing, which has probably shown her you mean business, it doesn't make you a shitty mum. Stick to your guns.

missdaydreamer Wed 27-Jul-11 00:19:26

Thanks, I do try to have a strategy. I simply explain that what she is doing is unacceptable behaviour and explain why. If she persists I let her know shes on a warning and will go on the naughty step for a time out if she continues.. then its naughty step if she carries on. Then I will raise my voice if she persists with the behaviour. Just today I kind of lost it and feel really guilty about that. X

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