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Controlled crying for 9 month old

(9 Posts)
ginandtonic1 Thu 21-Jul-11 16:37:57

Hi, currently baby falls asleep when i'm giving her bottle at night. Therefore, have been advised that it's a good idea for her to be awake when she's put to bed, so that she can settle herself to sleep.
Does anyone have any feedback, good and bad, for controlled crying techniques. What worked, what didn't etc. Would be very grateful.

BoysAreLikeDogs Thu 21-Jul-11 18:12:23

too young for controlled crying

you could try pulling that bottle forward a little so that she finishes it awake but not alert then put her down

MockingbirdsNotForSale Thu 21-Jul-11 18:20:40

I thought controlled crying was ok from 6 months. However, I breastfed my DD to sleep and had the same thoughts as you G&T (she's 9 months old). I bought the no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley and it is a very helpful read. In a nutshell, set up a relaxing bedtime routine using sleep cues such as bath, massage, into PJs, lights out, nice music on and settle down for feed then bed. Do this kind of routine for a couple of weeks, so she's used to the new routine, then do it, waking her before she gets into bed. The music will still be playing (and wil run out while she sleeps) and you say sleep cues such as shh sleep time now.

Thats an example of what you could do. I recommend you get the book and do what works for you. Its nice to create a lovely bedtime without tears IMO. I wouldn't enjoy crying myself to sleep although I do recognise that sometimes its the only thing that works for some parents.

ginandtonic1 Thu 21-Jul-11 18:34:03

thank you. She's had a really good bedtime routine for a few months now, bath, massage and into her sleepbag, then i feed her the bottle and she nods off, then i pop her into bed. Am i getting my knockers in a knit over something i don't need to worry about doing? She'll wake up a few times in the night, but mainly because she's teething and having one cold after another. sometimes she settles herself back to sleep, other times she'll wake, have a drink then go back to sleep after 10 mins. Hmm.

chocolatecrispies Thu 21-Jul-11 20:10:58

I'd say this 'put them down awake' thing is over-rated and causes a lot of distress! I know people advise you shouldn't feed to sleep but I can't really see why if it's working and you're happy with it. Breast milk makes babies go to sleep so why not work with nature rather than against it? I fed my ds to sleep against all advice, never did controlled crying, never laid him down awake and now, at age 3, he can close his eyes and go to sleep within minutes. Seems he learnt how to sleep without having to be trained, and I'm glad we let him do it in his own time.

Lady1nTheRadiator Thu 21-Jul-11 20:13:58

Why on earth would you do this when she is falling asleep happily with her bottle? shock My DD does this too... lovely milky sleepy and happy. Who told you she needs to settle herself? 9 months is still tiny. If you're happy... and she's happy... stick with it smile

Nagini Thu 21-Jul-11 20:15:55

I do it (ish) in that I put her down awake and let her cry (whinge more than cry) for 5 mins max (I try to be doing an unavoidable task, like brush DSs teeth so I'm not sitting down feeling shit wink )and she'll be asleep by then 9/10 times. If she ever starts 'real crying' I'm in straight away. Shush her, then down again.

Since I stopped getting up to feed her at every peep in the night she now self-settles and we sleep through. Result.

Coffeeandchocolate Thu 21-Jul-11 20:18:24

Reading your post, it doesn't seem like the night wakings are due to your DD not being able to self settle, and from what I've read about CC it works until they are ill or teething, then you would have to do it again.

Also, can you try as a previous poster said to pull the bottle forward,then help your DD settle in her cot? She might get the hang of self settling in a couple of weeks (as she can already do it sometimes). CC is not the only option, it might be the quickest but unless you're so sleep deprived you can't function, not worth it IMO.

I also liked the NCSS. Does your DD have a comforter, it might help her settle.

estya Sat 23-Jul-11 12:18:42

Agreed with above. CC isn't the only option, and while there are lots of studies on the bad effects of cortisol on developing brains etc, we are trying all the other methods first. They may be lots harder work, but since when was the easiest thing to do normally the right thing to do?

We do have to let her complain herself to sleep, though. She'd much rather be up and doing stuff, however tired she is. So she moans and groans until she passes out. It isn't crying, though, and she isn't distressed.

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