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Help!!!! stubborn 22month what should I do?

(9 Posts)
nannyn Tue 19-Jul-11 09:20:46

My DD, 22 months is currently sat at the table. She has been there for 1 hour waiting to get down but will not say please. She is very capable of saying it & understands not getting things until she does. Problem is I've now backed myself into a corner & fear we could be here all morning unless I give in. Ideas?

downpipe Tue 19-Jul-11 09:34:17

My 22 month old can say it but doesn't always say it, same with other words.An hour is a long time to be sat at the table!!!Let her down and try again later.

MamaChoo Tue 19-Jul-11 09:47:56

Impressive! Can you meet her half way with an inducement - ie 'i'm sad you wont say please and get down from the table as I really wanted to go on the swings with you now'

ChutesTooNarrow Tue 19-Jul-11 10:05:26

Seriously? You have refused to get your toddler down for an hour? Is she not upset? Why don't you stop being ridiculous, get her down and get on with your day.

This has shocked me slightly as I can not imagine getting into such pointless, long battles with my similarly aged son. No one is 'winning' from this.

'Please' is something I incorporate into everyday chat, and I simply explain why we say it sometimes, but I certainly do not expect it yet. So I would say 'you have finished your breakfast DS and want to get down? It is nice to say please when you want to get down' and then just get him out. Obviously I would allow an opportunity to say please but getting down would not be dependent on it.

Would it be a good idea to stop labeling your baby - and I have a 22 month old and he is still a baby - will negative words like stubborn? As the more you say it and have these battles, the more she will think this is how she is supposed to behave for you.

Kveta Tue 19-Jul-11 11:57:08

I have a nearly 22 month old, and he can't even say the word please yet. TBH, I think in a battle of wills with a toddler, you are ALWAYS going to lose. I would have got her down regardless, but try and encourage her to say please in the future by repeating it to her when you expect her to say it.

or, exactly what Chutes says above.

SquishyCinnamonSwirls Tue 19-Jul-11 11:59:20

Choose your battles. This one isn't going to be won in a day. It takes a long time of positive reinforcement to teach your child manners.
Also, an hour is a very long time to be sat at the table! Just get the child down and move on.

belindarose Tue 19-Jul-11 21:46:19

Think how many times you could have been reinforcing polite behaviour and 'please' in an hour of playing together.

noblegiraffe Tue 19-Jul-11 22:05:05

You praise her when she does it.

You don't leave her sitting in a high chair for an hour when she doesn't. Bloody hell.

sleepingsatellite Tue 19-Jul-11 22:14:04

Would second choosing your battles, DS is 22m and can say please, but if he didn't I'd certainly not insist he say it and keep him in one place until he did. Not worth it, it means nothing to them at all and only stresses you out.

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