How do I deal with this? (sorry, long)(3 Posts)
I've posted about this before but I didn't get any replies, so I thought I'd try again to see if anyone can help?
DS (nearly 6) is a complete and utter wimp. If he even scratches himself he says 'owwww' and immediately covers the affected area with his hand so I can't even see it, and starts crying saying 'It's bleeding!'. When I eventually manage to have a look it's barely noticeable, let alone any blood.
He came running indoors the other day wailing saying 'Mummy, I'm bleeding' and covering his arm with his hand. When I finally managed to have a look it turned out it was a smear of dried up tomato ketchup from lunchtime!
He cries if water gets in his eyes in the shower, and the most ridiculous one yet is when his friend from school accidentally dropped a marble (the size of a pea) on DS's foot. He howled like a baby .
I've tried talking calmly to him and asked him why he overreacts so much at the slightest bump or scratch but he just says he doesn't know.
I have never overindulged with sympathy at things like falling over. I've always tried to stay cheerful and do the whole 'Oh never mind, up you get' kind of thing when he's fallen and obviously not hurt himself. And equally I've given what I think is the appropriate amount of attention / sympathy when he has really hurt himself.
He gets plenty of positive attention for good behaviour, lots of good attention generally actually, so I don't think it is a cry for attention thing.
It's really frustrating and I don't know why he's like this? I shamefully admit that at times I have lost it a bit with him, telling him he's being a baby. I know is not helpful but it's so blimming frustrating dealing with him when he's like this. It's also embarrassing when we are out in public as he is screaming like a toddler and he's nearly 6!|
DP says maybe he just has a really low pain threshold, but I can't believe this is the case. I mean, no-one can feel pain from a marble being dropped on ones foot surely?!
Interestingly, he is not as bad when he is at school. If he falls over he does cry but seems to get over it much quicker than he does if I am there. What am I doing wrong?
On top of this, he has always been a cautious child and will not even attempt anything that he thinks he won't be ale to do, and he seems to have a real confidence issue about failing and looking silly. I've no idea where this has come from as I have always been encouraging and positive towards anything he does, not pushy or critical at all.
He has never had a big trauma or anything that I can think of that may have caused this behaviour?
How do I deal with this?
I wonder if this could be a sensory processing issue. My DD2 (8) has AS and is hypersensitive to pain. It is causing her major issues at the moment because she's very anxious in schoool which makes it far worse. She's getting OT and Physio input and they acknowledge that the pain is real and disabling and they tell me that I should take it seriously.
You're not doing anything wrong! He might need the attention, or the excuse to come inside and check that you're still there - that kind of thing. It sounds like you're doing everything right. Just don't try and change him - some of us are more cautious than others, and he'll start trying more stuff as he gets older. I read a really intersting book about parenting spirited children (search on amazon) and it had lots of ideas about identifying the reasons why you're soo worried that he's cautious/sensitive - sometimes kids are a bit like their parents, and the parents want to change the kid so they don't have the same difficulties they did as a child - so, it's more about the parents not accepting the characteristics, rather than seeing them as normal (and familiar). Sorry, not explaining this very well - was an interesting book and reminded me that being sensitive, while challenging, isn't the end of the world.
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