If you don't use the naughty corner what do you use?(7 Posts)
I was wondering what parents who don't use the naughty corner use in its replacement?i'm struggling with my 2ds behaviour (aged 4 and 2.6) and I'm not sure the naughty corner is that effective with them. What do I use in its place to make them realise that their bad behaviour is not asseptable as supernanny would say??Advice needed!!
I never used a naughty step, or a naughty seat (I was a nursery teacher for a period of time some years ago). I did, however, ask my own children, and my pupils, to leave the company if their behaviour wasn't acceptable (in the case of my own DS, they were told to either behave or go to their rooms). In class, children were not sent out of the room, but asked to leave the group activity or game. In each instance, I always told the "banished" child that they could return whenever they wished, so long as their behaviour improved. It always worked. The child would leave for a few minutes, and come back when they had calmed themselves down, or when they realised they were missing out. I think allowing them to decide for themselves when to come back serves 2 good purposes - it gives them a measure of control over the situation and therefore it "saves face" for them a bit; and it also gives them a bit of time and space to calm down think about their behaviour. They usually feel a bit silly once they pause to consider it, so be very matter-of-fact when they come back - don't take it as an opportunity to extend the confrontation or even to praise them (best to draw a veil over the incident and let them start over rather than highlight it in any way) How do you"make" them leave? Stop everything until they go. I do have to say, though, if you are altering a procedure you have been using, and which hasn't been effective, you can't expect the new system to work straight away. It may take a week or two - but stick with it, and it WILL work, I promise! Good luck!
There is an identical thread on this topic in 'Parenting' and it has 13 responses so you might also want to check it out.
I always used bedrooms. There was a theory that you shouldn't, because the DC would associate bedtime with somewhere you go when you've been "naughty", but it never seemed to be an issue with my lot.
I don't have a 'naughty' place for my DD - although the absence of siblings I think makes a difference. I hesitate to say it (not wanting to temp fate) but so far it's not been needed.
My Mum used to send me to my room until she realised I quite enjoyed it and was happy playing by myself, so then she started sending me to her room and made me sit in the middle of the bed until I calmed down!
Mostly I just use praise and explanations. Dull, boring, calm, repetitive reiteration of expectations, plus lashings of praise for good behaviour.
It works well with my 5yo, but she is an easy child who wants to please.
It doesn't work all that well with my 3yo, but then nothing does. He is a law unto himself.
I sometimes ask my two to "calm down, sit down and have a little think about how you've been behaving". They don't have to go anywhere in particular to do it, but they do have to reflect on why I am not impressed, and either apologise or explain.
I don't/ didn't have a designated place, just sit down and calm down for eg 5 mins as he is now 5. I rarely have to use it now, a countdown from 5 is enough (usually I just have to say 5 and he stops!) I think it's worked for us because I always followed through with it, no matter where we were, and once he realised I meant it he started to respect it. Having time out whilst queuing for a ride at legoland was a big turning point for us! Like I said before, we rarely need to use it now. I always made sure both myself and dh called it time out or calm down time, we never used the word naughty, and we always got him to explain afterwards why he had had the time out. He would usually apologise without prompting, ending with a hug.
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