Potty Training(7 Posts)
Why do so many modern mums struggle with toilet training their children??
Thrity years ago (and yes we did have disposible nappies then) it was quite normal for children to be potty trained by two but these days many four year olds are starting nursery-school wearing nappies!!! Why do health visitors recommend that parents wait until children 'show interest' in the potty before attempting to train?? Are they on commision from the nappy manufacturers?! Potty training is not rocket science and there are many helpful books to guide parents through the process. I believe that the later it is done the harder it is, as by three years old children are more inhibited about their bodily functions and prefer to stick with the comfort of their nappy. Are parents just too busy these days or do they expect childminders or nursery-schools to do the job for them??
there have been many discussions on this on MN and other forums i use. what's the big deal? modern life gets in the way etc etc.
don't know whether it makes any difference being a sahm (probably) but ds1 was potty trained soon after he was 2 and ds2 is 2 next month and mid potty training. i have looked at a few nurseries for ds2 and most seem to say he can't use the toilet or pull ups till the child is potty trained and can do it himself - i've never put any of my kids in nursery but it doesn't seem like it's easy to potty train early if kids are in full time nursery care i.e main carer works full time. there's no way either of my kids would be using the potty/toilet if they were in childcare - it would be easier to keep them in nappies. if i waited till ds1 was ready he'd probably still be in nappies but he's been potty trained for a year now.
but so what? yay for me, my kids are out of nappies but i've spend many many hours cleaning up wee and poo in the meantime cause by todays standards i did it 'too early' and they weren't ready. that's fine by me though, my choice and my carpets.
in the grand scheme of things the parents will do what's best for them and their situation. are you suggesting parents keep their toddlers in nappies for too long because it's the lazy option?! if parents can't/won't potty train their kids at 2yrs old then who's going to make them when it can take a matter of days when they do it at 3yrs old. ds1 took 4months to be fully dry and in pants all day and i know there aren't many parents who want to consider potty training the way i did.
I suppose I'm bothered because I work in a nursery school and I observe how many children have issues about the toilet when they they are still in nappies approaching their fourth birthday. Once a child has started nursery it is very hard to fit it toilet training at home and it is very difficult to train them in a group enviroment. However many parents seem to expect 'other' people to do the job for them. I worry about children leaving us to go to primary school in September who are only just out of nappies but are far from being independant in toileting routines and still require alot of adult support. I have no problem with parents taking their time over the issue of toileting when they are cared for in the home although they are wasting loads of money on nappies. However a child in nappies in a pre-school setting is held back in becoming independant and places an unneccesary burden on the pre-school staff. Of course the situation is perfectly acceptable for children wth special needs but not just because parents can't deal with their responsibility.
Our second son is going to start (state) nursery and they don't want them wearing nappies either. Although his older brother was trained before he was 3, this one screams and kicks and won't let me train him. I have to pick him up and take him upstairs. I am not a strong person and as he resists I find it very hard to carry him upstairs. Of course he can walk and run but I have to drag him to get him to the toilet. I have tried EVERYTHING, even for months letting him without nappies, just pants and underwear but he would just do everything on the floor!! I am so embarrassed!!
If there are any people who work at a nursery who take 3-4 year old children I would like to ask how many children actually start nursery still in nappies? I think we will be the embarrassement of the nursery!
Lots of children start nursery in nappies, so please don't worry your son will not be the only one.The point I am trying to make is i think that the current advice given by many health visitors of the 'later you train the quicker' is not actually true. In my opinion an extensive experience as a parent (I am the mother of ten children) and a nursery teacher for 25 years i think that current advice of late potty training is detrimental to many childrens' development and learning.
that's interesting to hear from someone who works in a nursery school. i was really determined to get ds1 potty trained well before he is due to start nursery so that's why i did it so early. it's interesting to hear it's more of a burden when they are in nappies because of the amount of accidents i have had to deal with. i would have thought a nappy change is quicker and easier than cleaning up after an accident - full change of clothes.
i do think it's a shame from the point of view of the child's independence when i see my 3yr old in pants and other kids his age still in nappies. i just saw it as the end of the baby phase and that was reinforced by having a younger brother in nappies. i feel the same about bottles and dummies well after they are 'supposed' to stop using them but while my 3yr old was potty trained early he's only just very reluctantly given up the dummy (or rather had it taken away by a very mean mummy!)
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