Had a chat with DS's (3 1/2 years) nursery teacher today....bit worried

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

He has only been there 2 weeks (3 days a week). Sadly he had to move nurseries very suddenly (can't go into why) but obviously a big change for him. His toilet training has really regressed after almost being sorted :( Not a problem as he appears very happy and nursery were not at all concerned but I am worried although he seems to be fine on the outside maybe he is struggling?

I asked how his behaviour was and the teacher said "He is a good boy, not an angel and has needed to be told on occasions, he is very much one of the boys but he only ever needs telling once, he really listens."

I would say this is very truthful! Last nursery said he was perfect so was a bit annoying to hear......am I over worrying?

[MooMooFarm]

Yes you're over worrying, but most of us do .

As you say yourself, he's had a big change in his life and is only a couple of weeks in to his new nursery. Two weeks is nothing, so I really wouldn't worry that he's showing some signs of being unsettled and a bit 'regressed' with his toilet training. Six months down the line, maybe if it hasn't gotten back to normal I would start to work out what needs to be done, but for now I would just give it time.

I'm sure he'll be fine, really.

[WriterofDreams]

Toilet training is a complicated skill to learn - it requires a lot of concentration and awareness, so it's normal that a sudden change would affect it even if your little boy isn't really struggling emotionally. He's bound to be a little put out by the change but as long as he seems fine in other areas - eating normally, playing happily, talking as usual - then I would put the potty training thing down as a very annoying setback and crack on with sorting it out, painful as that is!

As for the previous nursery telling you your DS was "perfect" - that sounds like a complete fob off to me! No child is perfect. It's far better that the new nursery is honest and gives you a complete picture of how your DS behaves. And to be honest what they said about him sounds really lovely - it seems that he's getting on fine socially, he's not shy and retiring but he is polite and obedient. All good!

[bumpybecky]

I've also got a 3.6 ds and think you are over worrying :) but understandably so - he's had a big change so you're bound to worry a bit

being 'one of the boys' sounds like he's playing with the others and wanting to join in - that's really good :) the fact that what or how they're playing isn't completely perfect is normal! the 'only needs to be told once' comment is also really positive - being naughty once is ok, stopping when asked is fantastic :)

toiletting will happen in time, don't panic :)

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

Gosh I love MN. I have been grumpy all evening with DH as I have been worrying about all this. Just been a horrible stressful time and so just want all to be ok. Thanks all, good to have other views on what was said........they tend to be more rational!! :)

[activate]

"He is a good boy, not an angel and has needed to be told on occasions, he is very much one of the boys but he only ever needs telling once, he really listens."


sounds settled and happy to me

sounds like you need to let go of your worry now - it is connected to the old nursery

the toilet training is neither here nor there - he'll get it over the summer - don't be concerned

[Nagini]

activate just posted what I would have.

Glad you are feeling happier trying :)

[AllYourCakeAreBelongToMe]

To be honest, 'he's perfect' from someone dealing with my ds would make me think they really couldn't be arsed to think of anything to say. Because ds, while he's funny, sweet, outgoing, friendly and happy, is in no way perfect. I'd be far happier to get "He is a good boy, not an angel and has needed to be told on occasions, he is very much one of the boys but he only ever needs telling once, he really listens.". Because that sounds far more like someone who's paid attention to him.

[coccyx]

sounds like he is settling in well. They say he is a good boy, not many children are angels, not sure they should be really!

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

Thank you again everyone. Yes, we have had to move him very suddenly and unexpectedly because of something which happened at the previous school (wouldn't wish it upon anyone :( ) So yes, all been very stressful loads of tears (mostly my own). I guess I am seeking assurance DS isn't struggling.....

[Firawla]

I would be happy to hear that about his behaviour, no child is perfect anyway! saying he only has to be told once and he really listens means he is actually very good behaved so i would be quite proud of that!